Saturday, June 27, 2009

Why are you receiving forwarded jokes ?

A man and his dog were walking along a road.
The man was enjoying the scenery, when it suddenly occurred to him that he was dead.
He remembered dying, and that the dog walking beside him had been dead for years..
He wondered where the road was leading them.
After a while, they came to a high, white stone wall along one side of the road.
It looked like fine marble.

At the top of a long hill, it was broken by a tall arch that glowed in the sunlight.
When he was standing before it he saw a magnificent gate in the arch that looked like 20 Mother-of-Pearl Ave, and the street that led to the gate looked like pure gold.
He and the dog walked toward the gate, and as he got closer, he saw a man at a desk to one side.
When he was close enough, he called out, 'Excuse me, where are we?'
'This is Heaven, sir,' the man answered.
'Wow! Would you happen to have some water?' the man asked.
'Of course, sir. Come right in, and I'll have some ice water brought right up.'
The man gestured, and the gate began to open.
'Can my friend,' gesturing toward his dog, 'come in, too?' the traveler asked.
'I'm sorry; sir, but we don't accept pets.'
The man thought a moment and then turned back toward the road and continued the way he had been going with his dog.
After another long walk, and at the top of another long hill, he came to a dirt road leading through a farm gate that looked as if it had never been closed.
There was no fence.
As he approached the gate, he saw a man inside, leaning against a tree and reading a book. 'Excuse me!' he called to the man. 'Do you have any water?'
'Yeah, sure, there's a pump over there, come on in.'
'How about my friend here?' the traveler gestured to the dog.
'There should be a bowl by the pump.'
They went through the gate, and sure enough, there was an old-fashioned hand pump with a bowl beside it.
The traveler filled the water bowl and took a long drink himself, and then he gave some to the dog.
When they were full, he and the dog walked back toward the man who was standing by the tree.
'What do you call this place?' the traveler asked.
'This is Heaven,' he answered.
'Well, that's confusing,' the traveler said. 'The man down the road said that was Heaven, too.' 'Oh, you mean the place with the gold street and pearly gates?
Nope. That's hell.'
'Doesn't it make you mad for them to use your name like that?'
'No, we're just happy that they screen out the folks who would leave their best friends behind.' Soooo.... Sometimes, we wonder why friends keep forwarding jokes to us without writing a word.

Maybe this will explain.
When you are very busy, but still want to keep in touch, guess what you do?
You forward jokes.
When you have nothing to say, but still want to keep contact, you forward jokes.
When you have something to say, but don't know what, and don't know how, you forward jokes. Also to let you know that you are still remembered, you are still important, guess what you get? A forwarded joke.
So, next time if you get a joke, don't think that you've been sent just another forwarded joke, but that you've been thought of today and your friend on the other end of your computer wanted to send you a smile.
You are all welcome @ my water bowl anytime.......... but at any time, if you do not wish to receive such mails, just reply with " STOP" and I'll take the cue from there.
I'll appreciate it. Thanks and have a nice day.

[ Contributed by Ronnie A.B.Lim ]

Saturday, June 20, 2009

God help those who help themselves!

There was a flood in a village.
One man said to everyone, "I'll stay! God will save me!"


The flood got higher and a boat came and the man in it said, "Come on mate, get in!"
"No" replied the man. God will save me!


The flood got very high now and the man had to stand on the roof of his house.
A helicopter soon came and the man offered him help.
No, God will save me!" he said.


Eventually he died by drowning.


He got by the gates of heaven and he said to God,
"Why didn't you save me?"

God replied,
"For goodness sake! I sent a boat and a helicopter. What more do you want!"

[ Contributed by Rosalind Pang ]

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Sunday, June 14, 2009

Real Signs that make you LAUGH!











[ Contributed by my good friend Ronnie Lim ]

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