Unk Dicko's Storeroom of Wisdom!

English Hospitality !

2011-05-11T11:16:00.000+08:00

English Hospitality

An American tourist in London wanders around, seeing the sights and occasionally stopping at some small pub to
have a pint of beer.
After a while, he finds himself in a very nice neighbourhood with stately residences.
No pubs, no restaurants, and worst of all no public restrooms.

However, he really has to pee, after all those pints of beer. He finds a narrow side street, with high walls
surrounding the adjacent buildings and decides to use the wall to solve his problem.

He is tapped on the shoulder by a London Bobby, who says, "Sir, you simply cannot do that here."
"I'm very sorry, officer," replies the American, "but I really have to pee, and I just can't find a public
restroom."

"Just follow me" says the Bobby. Then he leads the American to a back delivery alley to a gate, which he opens.
"In there," points the Bobby, "Whiz away, Sir, anywhere you like!!"

The fellow enters and finds himself in the most beautiful garden he has ever seen.
Manicured grass lawns, big fountains, sculptured hedges, and huge beds of flowers.

He relieves himself immediately.
As he goes back through the gate, he says to the Bobby "That was really nice
of you. Is that what you call English hospitality? "

"No, Sir..." replied the Bobby, "that is what we call the American Embassy".

Three blondes went for a cop interview

2011-03-09T15:05:00.003+08:00

Three blondes were all applying for the last available position on the Texas Highway Patrol.

The detective conducting the interview looked at the three of them and said, "So y'all want to be cops, huh?"

The blondes all nodded.

The detective got up, opened a file drawer and pulled out a folder. Sitting back down, he opened it and pulled out a picture, and said, "To be a detective, you have to be able to detect. You must be able to notice things such as distinguishing features and oddities, such as scars and so forth." So saying, he stuck the photo in the face of the first blonde and withdrew it after about two seconds.

"Now," he said, "did you notice any distinguishing features about this man ?"

The blonde immediately said, "Yes, I did. He has only one eye!"

The detective shook his head and said, "Of course he has only one eye in this picture! It's a profile of his face! You're dismissed!"

The first blonde hung her head and walked out of the office.

The detective then turned to the second blonde, stuck the photo in her face for two seconds, pulled it back and said, "What about you? Notice anything unusual or outstanding about this man?"

"Yes! He only has one ear!"

The detective put his head in his hands and exclaimed, "Didn't you hear what I just told the other lady? This is a profile of the man's face! Of course you can only see one ear!! You're excused too!"

The second blonde sheepishly walked out of the office.

The detective turned his attention to the third and last blonde and said, "This is probably a waste of time, but..." He flashed the photo in her face for a couple of seconds and withdrew it, saying, "All right, did you notice anything distinguishing or unusual about this man?"

The blonde said, "I sure did. This man wears contact lenses."

The detective frowned, took another look at the picture and began looking at some of the papers in the folder.

He looked up at the blonde with a puzzled _expression and said, "You're absolutely right! His bio says he wears contacts! How in the world could you tell that by looking at his picture?"

The blonde rolled her eyes and said, "Well, Helloooo! With only one eye and one ear, he certainly can't wear glasses. "

[ Contributed by AK ]

The Irish Halfwit !

2011-02-23T13:54:00.002+08:00

A man owned a small farm in Ireland.
The Irish Internal Revenue determined he was not paying proper wages to his staff and sent an investigator out to interview him.

"I need a list of your employees and how much you pay them!" demanded the investigator.
"Well," replied the farmer, "there's my farm hand who's been with me for three years. I pay him $200 a week plus free room and board.

"The cook has been here for 18 months, and I pay her $150 per week plus free room and board."
"Then there's the halfwit.
He works about 18 hours every day and does about 90% of all the work around here.
He makes about $10 a week.
He pays his own room and board, and I buy him a bottle of whiskey every Saturday night.
He also sleeps with my wife occasionally."

"That's the guy I want to talk to...the halfwit!" said the agent.

"That would be me," replied the farmer.

Are you having an ID ten problem in computer ?

2011-02-22T13:06:00.002+08:00

As we "Silver Surfers" (older folks on the Internet) know, sometimes we have trouble with our computers.

I had a problem yesterday, so I called Eric, the eleven year old next door, whose bedroom looks like Mission Control and asked him to come over.
Eric clicked a couple of buttons and solved the problem.

As he was walking away, I called after him, 'So, what was wrong?
He replied, 'It was an ID ten T error.'

I didn't want to appear stupid, but nonetheless inquired,
'An, ID ten T error? What's that? In case I need to fix it again.'
Eric grinned.... 'Haven't you ever heard of an ID ten T error before?
'No,' I replied.
'Write it down,' he said, 'and I think you'll figure it out.'

So I wrote down:
ID10T
I used to like Eric, that little shit.

" Carrefour "...How to pronounce?

2010-10-09T00:34:00.004+08:00

How to pronounce "Carrefour"

An interesting explanation posted on the net, discussing how to pronounce: Carrefour.

You're all wrong.
Carrefour is owned by a French of Chinese descent - Cantonese to be precise.

He started the successful business with money provided by his maternal uncle.
In order to thank and honour his uncle for the start-up assistance, he decided to name it after his uncle.

Out of sheer respect, he could not bring himself to use his uncle's common name.

So he called it the way he would always call his favourite uncle in the Cantonese dialect and i.e.......Cow-Foo.

BEWARE....Sitting on the Toilet Rim Cover !

2010-09-27T16:31:00.000+08:00

Please pay attention to this article. It is of utmost importance.

Three women in KL turned up at hospitals over a 5-day period,
all with the same symptoms - fever, chills, vomiting, followed by muscular collapse, paralysis and finally,death.

There were no outward signs of trauma. Autopsy results showed toxicity in the blood. These women did not know each other, and seemed to have nothing in common.
It was discovered, however, that they had all visited a same restaurant along Jalan Kuchai Lama within days of their deaths. The health department descended on the restaurant, shutting it down. The food, water and air conditioning were all inspected and tested, to no avail.

The big break came when a waitress at the restaurant was rushed to the hospital with similar symptoms. She told doctors that she had been on vacation, and had only went to the restaurant to pick up her check. She did not eat or drink while she was there, but had used the restroom.

That is when one toxicologist, remembering an article he had read, drove up to the restaurant, went into the restroom and lifted the toilet seat.
Under the seat, out of normal view, was a small spider. The spider was captured and brought back to the lab,where it was determined to be the Two-Striped Telamonia (Telamonia dimidiata), so named because of its reddened flesh color. This spider's venom is extremely toxic but can take several days to take effect. They live in cold, dark, damp climates, and toilet rims provide just the right atmosphere.

Several days later, a lawyer from JB showed up at a hospital emergency room.. Before his death, he told the doctor that he had been away on business, had taken a flight from Indonesia , changing planes in Singapore , before returning home. He did not visit the restaurant while there. He did, as did all of the other victims, have what was determined to be a puncture wound, on his right buttock.

Investigators discovered that the flight he was on had originated in India .. The Civilian Aeronautics Board (CAB) ordered an immediate inspection of the toilets of all flights from India , and discovered the Two-Striped Telamonia (Telamonia dimidiata) spider's nests on four different planes!

It is now believed that these spiders can be anywhere in the country. So please, before you use a public toilet, lift the seat to check for spiders.
It can save your life! And please pass this on to everyone you care about.

P Susthitha Menon (Susi)
Photonics Technology Laboratory
Department of Electrical, Electronics and System Engineering
Universiti Kebangsaan Malaysia
( National University of Malaysia )
43600 UKM Bangi
Selangor Darul Ehsan.

-

WHY New Zealand is in trouble !

2010-09-24T15:43:00.000+08:00

Why New Zealand is in Trouble

The population of this country is 4 million

2 million are retired

That leaves 2 million to do the work

There are 1.5 million in school

Leaving 500,000 to do the work

Of these, 450,000 are "employed" by the government

So there's only 50,000 to do the work

4000 are in the armed forces, busy trying to catch Osama Bin-Laden

Which leaves just 46,600 to do the work

Take from that total the 10,000 unemployed people

Leaving just 36,600 left to do the work

At any given time there are 18,800 people in hospitals

Leaving 17,800 to do the work

Currently we have 17,798 people in prisons

That leaves just two people to do the work

You and me

And there you are

Sitting

At the computer, reading jokes

Nice..... Real nice.

[ Contributed by Eddie, H K ]

Grandma Still Drives !

2010-08-19T00:04:00.005+08:00

Gramma Still Drives --- Priceless
Grandma is eighty-eight years old and still drives her own car.
She writes:

Dear Granddaughter,
The other day I went up to our local Christian book store and saw a 'Honk if you love Jesus' bumper sticker ..

I was feeling particularly sassy that day because I had just come from a thrilling choir performance, followed by a thunderous prayer meeting..
So, I bought the sticker and put it on my bumper.

Boy, am I glad I did; what an uplifting experience

that followed.

I was stopped at a red light at a busy intersection,

just lost in thought about the Lord and how good he is, and I didn't notice that the light had changed.

It is a good thing someone else loves Jesus because if he hadn't honked,

I'd never have noticed.

I found that lots of people love Jesus!

While I was sitting there, the guy behind started honking like crazy,

and then he leaned out of his window and screamed, 'For the love of God!'

'Go! Go! Go! Jesus Christ, GO!'

What an exuberant cheerleader he was for Jesus!
Everyone started honking!

I just leaned out my window and started waving and smiling at all those loving people.
I even honked my horn a few times to share in the love!

There must have been a man from Florida back there because I heard him yelling something about a sunny beach.

I saw another guy waving in a funny way with only his middle finger stuck up in the air.
I asked my young teenage grandson in the back seat what that meant.
He said it was probably a Hawaiian good luck sign or something.

Well, I have never met anyone from Hawaii , so I leaned out the window and gave him the good luck sign right back.
My grandson burst out laughing.

Why even he was enjoying this religious experience!!

A couple of the people were so caught up in the joy of the moment that they got out of their cars and started walking towards me.
I bet they wanted to pray or ask what church I attended, but this is when I noticed the light had changed.

So, grinning, I waved at all my brothers and sisters, and drove on through the intersection.
I noticed that I was the only car that got through the intersection before the light changed again and felt kind of sad that I had to leave them after all the love we had shared.

So I slowed the car down, leaned out the window and gave them all the Hawaiian good luck sign one last time as I drove away.

Praise the Lord for such wonderful folks!!
Will write again soon,

Love,

Grandma

A Simple ancient Chinese Technique to Stop Hiccups.

2010-08-12T13:30:00.004+08:00

Hi folks,
You should try this the next time you or your friend or family member experiences a hiccup.
The ancient Chinese Medical experts know more about many things we don't today.

上最強的'停止打嗝法-------

這個方法是古代一種導引術很簡單

This is an ancient Chinese technique to stop hiccups
(左手或右手都沒有關係,用一隻手的姆指使勁的去壓迫另一隻手的手掌中央,壓迫多次打嗝就會停止)

It does not matter if you use either right or left hand. Use the thumb of one hand pressing against the center of the other palm. Several long hard presses and the hiccups will stop.
照書上說3分鐘內就會停止打嗝,但是我的經驗只要10幾秒打嗝就會自動停止,相當神奇.

According to the Chinese accupunture book,
3 minutes will stop hiccups, but from my
experience 10 seconds will stop hiccups.
此為中醫穴道--勞宮穴

This is the Chinese acupuncture points - 勞宮穴

[ Contributed by HC Chue ]

Question for readers:
What's your own remedy for hiccups? Anyone kind enough to share here?

Unk Dicko's method: ( Always worked too, for himself )

1. Slowly sip 13 -15 tiny gulps of plain drinking water.
( My rating for Success - 5 Stars )

2. If no water available, take a deep breath and HOLD it for as long as possible.
Repeat until hiccups stop.
( My rating for Success - 3 Stars )

Don't be too smart!

2010-07-26T18:23:00.001+08:00

An Indian goes to Woolworth's in Australia.
He finds cat food at special prices. He picks a dozen cans of cat food and goes to check out.
The Manager gets suspicious. He thinks that this guy might not have a cat and will probably feed cat food to his kids. He asks the Indian to show him his cat before he could let him have cat food.

The Indian goes home and returns with a cat and gets to buy the cat food.

Next week the Indian finds dog food at special prices.
He picks a dozen cans of dog food and goes to check out.
The Manager again gets suspicious.
He thinks that this guy may have a cat but he cannot have a dog and he will probably feed dog food to his kids.
He asks the Indian to bring and show him the dog before he can let him have dog food.

The Indian goes home and returns with a dog. He gets to buy the dog food.

The following week the Indian comes to Woolworth's with a bag.
He asks the manager to put his hand in the bag.
The Manager puts his hand in the bag, feels some thing slimy and immediately pulls it out.
He shouts at the Indian, "What the hell ! This is shit, you Idiot !"
The Indian calmly replies, "Yes,........ now MAY I buy some toilet paper?"

[ Contributed by magicman ]

WHY go to Church?

2010-07-26T17:55:00.002+08:00

If you're spiritually alive, you're going to love this!
If you're spiritually dead, you won't want to read it.
If you're spiritually curious, there is still hope!

Why go to Church?

A Church goer wrote a letter to the editor of a newspaper and complained that it made no sense to go to church every Sunday.. "I've gone for 30 years now," he wrote, "and in that time I have heard something like 3,000 sermons. But for the life of me, I can't remember a single one of them. So, I think I'm wasting my time and the pastors are wasting theirs by giving sermons at all."

This started a real controversy in the "Letters to the Editor" column, much to the delight of the editor.
It went on for weeks until someone wrote this clincher:

"I've been married for 30 years now. In that time my wife has cooked some 32,000 meals. But, for the life of me, I cannot recall the entire menu for a single one of those meals.. But I do know this ... They all nourished me and gave me the strength I needed to do my work. If my wife had not given me these meals, I would be physically dead today. Likewise, if I had not gone to church for nourishment, I would be spiritually dead today!"

When you are DOWN to nothing.... God is UP to something!
Faith sees the invisible, believes the incredible and receives the impossible!
Thank God for our physical AND our spiritual nourishment!
All right, now that you're done reading, send it on!
I think everyone should read this!
"When Satan is knocking at your door, simply say, "Jesus, could you get that for me?"

[ Contributed by magicman ]

Have YOU reached this point yet?

2010-07-26T12:42:00.003+08:00

AAADD
KNOW THE SYMPTOMS.....PLEASE READ!

Thank goodness there's a name for this disorder.
Somehow I feel better,even though I have it!!
Recently, I was diagnosed with A.A.A.D.D. - Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder.
This is how it manifests:

I decide to water my garden.
As I turn on the hose in the driveway, I look over at my car and decide it needs washing.

As I start toward the garage, I notice mail on the porch table that I brought up from the mail box earlier.
I decide to go through the mail before I wash the car.

I lay my car keys on the table,
Put the junk mail in the waste basket under the table,
And notice that the basket is full.

So, I decide to put the bills back on the table and take out the rubbish first.
But then I think,
Since I'm going to be near the mailbox
When I take out the rubbish anyway, I may as well pay the bills first.

I take my cheque book off the table,
And see that there is only one cheque left.
My extra cheques are in my desk in the study,
So I go inside the house to my desk where I find the can of Coke I'd been drinking.

I'm going to look for my cheques,
But first I need to push the Coke aside
So that I don't accidentally knock it over..

The Coke is getting warm ,
And I decide to put it in the fridge to keep it cold.
As I head toward the kitchen with the Coke,
A vase of flowers on the counter Catches my eye--they need water.

I put the Coke on the counter and
Discover my reading glasses that I've been searching for all morning.
I decide I better put them back on my desk, But first I'm going to water the flowers.

I set the glasses back down on the counter,
Fill a container with water and suddenly spot the TV remote.
Someone left it on the kitchen table.

I realize that tonight when we go to watch TV,
I'll be looking for the remote,
But I won't remember that it's on the kitchen table,
So I decide to put it back where it belongs,
But first I'll water the flowers.

I pour some water in the flowers,
But quite a bit of it spills on the floor.
So, I set the remote back on the table,
Get some towels and wipe up the spill.

Then, I head down the hall trying to Remember what I was planning to do.

At the end of the day:
The car isn't washed
The bills aren't paid
There is a warm can of Coke sitting on the counter
The flowers don't have enough water,
There is still only 1 cheque in my cheque book,
I can't find the remote,
I can't find my glasses,
And I don't remember what I did with the car keys.
Then, when I try to figure out why nothing got done today,
I'm really baffled because I know I was busy all darn day,
And I'm really tired.

I realize this is a serious problem,
And I'll try to get some help for it, But first I'll check my e-mail...
Do me a favour.
Forward this message to everyone you know,
Because I don't remember who the heck I've sent it to.
Don't laugh -- if this isn't you yet, your day is coming!

A little ice cream is good for the soul sometimes

2010-06-16T10:34:00.007+08:00

I L-O-V-E this story. Everybody should get ice-cream some day, some time.
Last week, I took my grand-children to a restaurant.

My six-year-old grand-son asked if he could say grace.

As we bowed our heads he said, "God is good, God is great. Thank you for the food, and I would even thank you more if Nana gets us ice cream for dessert. And liberty and justice for all! Amen!"

Along with the laughter from the other customers nearby, I heard a woman remark, "That's what's wrong with this country. Kids today don't even know how to pray. Asking God for ice cream! Why, I never!"

Hearing this, my grand-son burst into tears and asked me, "Did I do it wrong? Is God mad at me?"

As I held him and assured him that he had done a terrific job, and God was certainly not mad at him, an elderly gentleman approached the table.

He winked at my grand-son and said, "I happen to know that God thought that was a great prayer."

"Really?" my grand-son asked.

"Cross my heart," the man replied.

Then, in a theatrical whisper, he added (indicating the woman whose remark had started this whole thing),

"Too bad she never asks God for ice cream.

A little ice cream is good for the soul sometimes."

Naturally, I bought my grandson and grand children some ice cream at the end of the meal.

My grand-son stared at his for a moment, and then did something I will remember the rest of my life. He picked up his sundae and, without a word, walked over and placed it in front of the woman.

With a big smile he told her, "Here, this is for you. Ice cream is good for the soul sometimes; and my soul is good already."

The End

I love this story!

Please keep it moving. Sometimes, we all need some ice cream.

I hope God sends you some ice cream today!

A Toyota that will never be recalled!

2010-06-05T11:32:00.004+08:00

This wonderful TOYOTA needs no annual inspection certificate.

Needs no petrol or gasoline to run.

Needs no Driving licence.

Provides an open air concept and eco-friendly way of transportation.

The team of "drivers" need not be paid.

How I wish we can have more of them around my neighbourhood instead of the

punks zooming at breakneck speed in their souped up cars all over the place.

[ Contributed by TF Chan ]

Never, ever be late...esp if you are a politician!

2010-06-01T16:08:00.003+08:00

A priest was being honoured at his retirement dinner after 35 years in the parish.
A leading local politician and member of the congregation was chosen to give a little speech at the dinner.

However, the politician was delayed, so the priest decided to say his own few words while they waited:
"I got my first impression of the parish from the very first confession I heard here. I thought I had been assigned to a terrible place. The very first person who entered my confessional told me he had stolen a television set and, when questioned by the police, was able to lie his way out of it.He had also stolen money from his parents, embezzled from his employer, had an affair with his boss's wife, taken illegal drugs, and gave VD to his sister. I was appalled.
But as the days went on I learned that my people were not all like that and I had, indeed, come to a fine parish full of good and loving people."

Just as the priest finished his talk, the politician arrived and showed his grand entrance, full of apologies at being late.
He immediately began to make the presentation and gave his talk:
"I'll never forget the first day our parish priest arrived,' said the politician. 'In fact, I had the honour of being the first person to go to him for confession.'

Moral of the story :
Never, never, never be late,.. more so if you are a politician'

Jobs For civil servants

2010-05-20T18:12:00.005+08:00

Jobs for civil servants

A guy goes to the Post Office to apply for a job.
The interviewer asks him, "Are you allergic to anything?"
He replies, "Yes - coffee."

"Have you ever been in the military service? "
"Yes," he says, "I was in Iraq for two years."
The interviewer says,"That will give you 5 extra points towards employment."

"Then he asks,"Are you disabled in any way?"
The guy says,"Yes. A bomb exploded near me and I lost both of my testicles."

The interviewer grimaces and then says, "O.K. You've got enough points for me to hire you right now. Our normal hours are from 8:00 A.M. To 4:00 P.M. You can start tomorrow from 10:00AM every day."

The guy is puzzled and asks, "If the work hours are from 8:00 A.M. to 4:00 P.M., why do you want me to start here from 10:00 A.M.?"

"This is a government job," the inter-viewer says, "For the first two hours, we just stand around drinking coffee and scratching our balls. No point you coming in for that."

[ Contributed by TF Chan ]

Mexican Oysters

2010-05-19T10:59:00.004+08:00

Mexican Oysters

A big Texan stopped at a local restaurant following a day roaming around in Mexico.
While sipping his tequila, he noticed a sizzling, scrumptious looking platter being served at the next table. Not only did it look good, the smell was wonderful.

He asked the waiter, 'What is that you just served?'
The waiter replied, 'Ah senor, you have excellent taste! Those are called Cojones de Toro, bull's testicles from the bull fight this morning. A delicacy!'
The cowboy said, 'What the heck, bring me an order..'
The waiter replied, 'I am so sorry senor. There is only one serving per day because there is only one bull fight each morning. If you come early and place your order, we will be sure to save you this delicacy.'

The next morning, the cowboy returned, placed his order, and that evening was served the one and only special delicacy of the day.
After a few bites, inspecting his platter, he called to the waiter and said, 'These are delicious, but they are much, much smaller than the ones I saw you serve yesterday.'

The waiter shrugged his shoulders and replied, 'Si, Senor. Sometimes the bull wins.

[ Contributed by TF Chan ]

Be innovative! Be creative! The Blind Boy.

2010-04-30T19:11:00.005+08:00

A blind boy sat on the steps of a building with a hat by his feet.

He held up a sign which said: "I am blind, please help."

There were only a few coins in the hat.

A man was walking by.

He took a few coins from his pocket and dropped them into the hat.

He then took the sign, turned it around, and wrote some words.

He put the sign back so that everyone who walked by would see the new words.

Soon the hat began to fill up. A lot more people were giving money to the blind boy.

That afternoon the man who had changed the sign came to see how things were.

The boy recognized his footsteps and asked, "Were you the one who changed my sign this morning? What did you write?"

The man said, "I only wrote the truth. I said what you said but in a different way."

I wrote: "Today is a beautiful day but I cannot see it."

Both signs told people that the boy was blind.

But the first sign simply said the boy was blind.

The second sign told people that they were so lucky that they were not blind.

Should we be surprised that the second sign was more effective?

Moral of the Story:

Be thankful for what you have.

Be creative. Be innovative.. Think differently and positively

.
When life gives you a 100 reasons to cry, show life that you have 1000 reasons to smile.

Face your past without regret.

Handle your present with confidence.

Prepare for the future without fear.

Keep the faith and drop the fear.

Just think God is Near!

God Bless you and your family.

From a friend to a friend.
The most beautiful thing is to see a person smiling.

And even more beautiful is, knowing that you are the reason behind it!!!

Date-Rape Drug... Learn about it!

2010-04-26T11:28:00.004+08:00

This report appeared on Asiaone online news story.
It tells about the dangers of receiving a business card from strangers while
you are the lone driver in your car.
I have received many emails with different angles to this story but all stressed the same thing...
" Be extra careful about strangers offering you their business cards which could be laced with
this powerful chemical or drug. "

ASIAONE / NEWS / ASIAONE NEWS / MALAYSIA / STORY

Mon, Apr 19, 2010 New Straits Times

Emails on rape drug 'make sense'
By Ben Tan

JOHOR BARU:
Ever heard of burundanga?
It's not the name of a bird but a potent date rape drug. Stories about the drug are spreading like wildfire in cyberspace through the personal emails of Malaysians and Singaporeans.

The forwarded emails are of victims or near victims of rapes and date rapes that warn the public to beware of criminals using business cards laced with burundanga.
Most of the time, the forwarded emails gave a scenario at the carpark area at popular hypermarkets in major cities, especially here at night.

It starts with a stranger coming up to a victim, usually a lone woman, and knocking on the driver's window on the pretext of giving her his business card.
When the victim winds down the window and takes the burundanga-soaked card from the man, she begins feeling dizzy and numb mere minutes later. The man will follow her car closely and take advantage of her once she loses consciousness.

However, the emails also have different variants where the victims managed to drive away, but still feel faint or with some even sounding their horn loudly in panic.
Johor police chief Datuk Mokhtar Shariff said like many other stories and urban legends circulating in cyberspace, the burundanga emails played on the public's fear.
"Most of the time they tell of alleged close calls with the criminals and not actual crimes.
They are mainly an 'entertaining' sort of cautionary tale."
Mokhtar said state police had not received any reports with regard to burundanga.
But he acknowledged that the emails did serve a purpose in that it was a warning.
"It has a lot of common sense whereby lone females should not accept anything, including business cards, from strangers," he said, adding that the public must learn to exercise due caution.

The drug from South America is known to achieve its "zombifying" effects by inhibiting the transmission of nerve impulses in the brain and muscles.
Victims who fall for this are believed to have no memory of what happened to them.
Burundanga is the street version of a pharmaceutical drug called scopolamine. It is made from the extracts of plants in the nightshade family.

It can induce symptoms of delirium such as disorientation, loss of memory, hallucinations and stupor.n powdered form, scopolamine can be easily mixed into food or drinks, or blown directly into victims' faces, forcing them to inhale it, which makes it an ideal date-rape drug.
In developed countries, the drug has several medicinal uses and has also been used as a "truth serum" by law enforcement agencies.

It has also been used as a blackout drug for crimes such as robbery, kidnapping and date rape.
In South America, burundanga is used in popular culture as a traditional potion to induce a trance-like state in shamanic rituals.
Reports of the drug's use in criminal activities first surfaced in Colombia during the 1980s and peaked in the 1990s.

Security Tip...your Hotel Card Key.

2010-04-13T12:49:00.003+08:00

Something to think about!!
This is important info. Never even thought about card keys containing anything other than an access code for the room!

HOTEL CARD KEYS
Ever wonder what is on your magnetic card key?

Answer:
a. Customer's name
B. Customer's partial home address
c. Hotel room number
d. Check-in date and out dates
e. Customer's credit card number and expiration date!

When you turn them in to the front desk your personal information is there for any employee to access by simply scanning the card in the hotel scanner. An employee can take a hand-full of cards home and using a scanning device, access the information onto a laptop computer and go shopping at your expense
.
Simply put, hotels do not erase the information on these cards until an employee reissues the card to the next hotel guest. At that time, the new guest's information is electronically 'overwritten' on the card and the previous guest's information is erased in the overwriting process.

But until the card is rewritten for the next guest, it is usually kept in a drawer at the front desk with YOUR INFORMATION ON IT!

The bottom line is:
Keep the cards, take them home with you, or destroy them.
NEVER leave them behind in the room, and NEVER return them to the Hotel Front Desk when you check out of the room. They will not charge you for the card (it's illegal) and you'll be sure you are not leaving a lot of valuable personal information on it that could be easily lifted off with any simple scanning device card reader.

For the same reason, if you arrive at the airport and discover you still have the card key in your pocket, do not toss it into an airport trash can. Take it home and destroy it by cutting it up, especially through the electronic information strip!

If you have a small magnet, pass it across the magnetic strip several times. Then try it in the door, it will not work. It erases everything on the card.

Information courtesy of: Police Service.

PLEASE FORWARD to friends and family

An example of an actual Online SCAM !

2010-04-13T01:06:00.003+08:00

Hi folks and visitors,

Below is an actual unsolicited email that a friend of mine received today. Judging by the poorly
constructed sentences and the glaring errors of grammar you can immediately tell that it is
a "FAKE" letter. The Blue VISA logo comes with it giving it an " officious and genuine" look.
These online SCAMMERS are hoping that you will fall into their trap by following their instructions to "update" all your personal and confidential bank data.
No respectable bank will ever ask their client to do all such nonsense...online!!!
So, don't be a victim!

Ps: The spelling errors are so obvious. I have not corrected anything on this fake email.

Dear Costumer ,
Your credit card is suspended, because we notice a problem on your card.
We have alerted that someone may be using your card without your permission.
For your protection, we've suspended your credit card.
To lift this suspention, Click here and follow the procedure to indicate Updating your Credit Card.
Note: If this is not complete April 15, 2010, we will be forced to suspend your card indfiniment, because it can be used for fraudulent.
We appreciate your cooperation in this matter.
Thank you,
Customer Support Service.

Copyright 1999-2009 VerifedbyVisa . All rights reserved

The Magic Uses of WD 40! Unbelievable...believe it!

2010-03-31T16:58:00.004+08:00

Read especially the last part on the knee joints. Interesting
WORTH A READ.

Before you read to the end, do you know what the main ingredient of WD-40 is?

I had a neighbour who had bought a new van. I got up very early one Sunday morning and saw that some vandal had spray painted red all around the sides of this white van. I went over and told him the bad news. He was very upset and was trying to work out what to do, probably nothing until Monday morning, since nothing was open.
Another neighbour came out and told him to get some WD-40 and clean it off. It removed the unwanted paint beautifully and did not harm the paint that was on the van. I'm impressed!WD-40 - how did someone work out it would do that?

'Water Displacement No.40' The product began from a search for rust preventative solvent and degreaser to protect missile parts. WD-40 was created in 1953 by three technicians at the San Diego Rocket Chemical Company. Its name comes from the project that was to find a 'water displacement' compound. They were successful with the fortieth formulation, thus WD-40. The Convair Company bought it in bulk to protect their atlas missile parts.
Ken East (one of the original founders) says there is nothing in WD-40 that would hurt you. It's the first thing that has ever cleaned that spotty shower screen. If yours is plastic, it works just as well as on glass. It's a miracle! Then try it on your cooker top .... Kazamm! It's now shinier than it's ever been. You'll be amazed.

Here are some other uses:
1. Protects silver from tarnishing.
2. Removes road tar and grime from cars.
3. Cleans and lubricates guitar 20 strings.
4. Gives floors that 'just-waxed' sheen without making them slippery.
5. Keeps flies off cows.
6. Restores and cleans blackboards.
7. Removes lipstick stains.
8. Loosens stubborn zips.
9. Untangles jewelry chains.
10. Removes stains from stainless steel sinks.
11. Removes dirt and grime from the barbecue grill.
12. Keeps ceramic/terra cotta garden pots from oxidizing.
13. Removes tomato stains from clothing.
14. Keeps glass shower screens free of water spots.
15. Camouflages scratches in ceramic and marble floors.
16. Keeps scissors working smoothly.
17. Lubricates noisy door hinges on vehicles and doors in homes.
18. It removes black scuff marks from the kitchen floor! Use WD-40 for those nasty tar and scuff marks on flooring. It doesn't seem to harm the finish and you won't have to scrub nearly as hard to get them off. Just remember to open some windows if you have a lot of marks.
19. Dead insects will eat away the finish on your car if not removed quickly! Use WD-40!
20. Gives a children's playground gym slide a 20 shine for a super fast slide.
21. WD-40 is great for removing crayon from walls. Spray on the mark and wipe with a clean rag.
22. Also, if you've discovered that your teenage daughter has washed and dried a tube of lipstick with a load of laundry, saturate the lipstick spots with WD-40 and rewash. Presto! The lipstick is gone!
23. Lubricates tracks in sticking home windows and makes them easier to open.
24. Spraying an umbrella stem makes it easier to open and close.
25. Restores and cleans padded leather dashboards in vehicles, as well as vinyl bumpers.
26. Restores and cleans roof racks on vehicles.
27. Lubricates and stops squeaks in electric fans.
28. Lubricates wheel sprockets on tricycles, wagons, and bicycles for easy handling.
29. Lubricates fan belts on washers and dryers and keeps them running smoothly.
30. Keeps rust from forming on saws and saw blades, and other tools.
31. Removes splattered grease on stove.
32. Keeps bathroom mirror from fogging.
33. Lubricates prosthetic limbs.
34. Keeps pigeons off the balcony (they hate the smell).
35. Removes all traces of duct tape.
36. Folks even spray it on their arms, hands, and knees to relieve arthritis pain.
37. WD-40 attracts fish. Spray a little on live bait or lures and you will be catching the big one in no time. Also, it's a lot cheaper than the chemical attractants that are made for just that purpose. Keep in mind though, using some chemical laced baits or lures for fishing are not allowed in some counties.
38. Use it for gnat bites. It takes the sting away immediately and stops the itch.
And for some reason...........spray it on your arthritic knee joints etc and it will ease them.

P. S. The basic ingredient is FISH OIL.

[ Contributed by Magicman ]

Should children witness childbirth?

2010-03-31T16:51:00.002+08:00

Subject:
Childbirth from a 3 year old's point of view.

Should children witness childbirth?
Good question. Here's your answer.

Due to a power outage, only one paramedic responded to the call. The house was very dark so the paramedic asked Kathleen, a 3-yr old girl to hold a flashlight high over her mommy so he could see while he helped deliver the baby... Very diligently, Kathleen did as she was asked. Heidi pushed and pushed and after a little while, Connor was born. The paramedic lifted him by his little feet and spanked him on his bottom. Connor began to cry. The paramedic then thanked Kathleen for her help and asked the wide-eyed 3-yr old what she thought about what she had just witnessed.. Kathleen quickly responded, 'He shouldn't have crawled in there in the first place.....smack his ass again!'

[ Contributed by Ronnie L ]

Photos tell their own story

2010-03-19T01:44:00.005+08:00

MUST BE ONE OF THOSE BELOW !
UPS WINS !

MUST BE ONE OF THOSE ABOVE!

Good one-liners for laughter !

2010-03-19T01:33:00.003+08:00

JUST FOR LAUGHS !!!

1. If time doesn't wait for you, don't worry! Just remove the damn battery from the clock and Enjoy life!

2. Expecting the world to treat you fairly because you are a good person is like expecting the lion not to attack you because you are a vegetarian. Think about it.

3. Beauty isn't measured by outer appearance and what clothes we wear, but what we are inside. So, try going out naked tomorrow and see the admiration!

4. Don't walk as if you rule the world, walk as if you don't care who rules the world! That's called Attitude!

5. Every lady hopes that her daughter will marry a better man than she did and is convinced that her son will never find a wife as good as his father did!

6. He was a good man. He never smoked, never drank, had no affair. When he died, the insurance company refused the claim. They said, he who never lived, cannot die!

7. So many options for suicide: Poison, sleeping pills, hanging, jumping from a building, lying on train tracks, but we choose Marriage, slow but very sure!

8. Only 20 percent boys have brains, rest have girlfriends!

9. All desirable things in life are either illegal, banned, expensive or married to someone else!

10. Drinking is our biggest enemy- Jawaharlal Nehru.We should learn to love our enemies- Mahatma Gandhi.Now, whom to follow and which one to choose?

11. 10% of road accidents are due to drunken driving. Which means - it is a logical statement that 90% of accidents are due to driving without drinking!!

[ Contributed by HC Chue ]

LIVE longer by eating LESS. Serious topic!

2010-03-18T01:12:00.007+08:00

What's wrong with eating too full ?
Don't overeat and don't encourage your family members and friends to
overeat unless, you wish to shorten their healthy living.
An interesting article about eating too full....
In Today's Dr Lee Newsletter Issue: "What's wrong with eating too full?"
"The more you eat, the sooner you die. The lesser you eat, the longer you live.
" This is what Dr Lee always says in his health talk. He also mentions,
"Eating too full causes all sort of health problems such as hypertension, diabetes, stroke, etc." Why eating too full is so harmful to your health?
What can you do about it? =================================
Mice experiment =================================
To see how eating habit affects life span, a professor from University of Texas did an experiment on mice.
For the first group of 100 mice, he let them eat without any restriction, just like a buffet meal.
The second group was fed only 60% full.
And the third group was given food without restriction too.
But this time, he reduced protein content to half.

After 2.5 years, guess how many mice were still alive out of 100 per group?

* First group (eat without restriction) - only 13 mice were alive.

* Second group (eat 60% full) - 97 mice was still alive. Only 3 mice died !

* Third group (eat without restriction with protein cut half) - 50 mice were still alive.

What can we learn from these results?
Firstly, eating too full is really harmful to your body. Secondly, eat 60% full if you want to live longer and healthier. Thirdly, taking too much protein is harmful to your body too. We don't need so much protein after all. =================================
Overworking body =================================
Imagine having a small family car. Instead of using it for short travel between home and office, you use it for long distance travel between different cities every day. Instead of using it 1 hour a day, you use it for 10 hours a day. Instead of driving at 70 km/h, you always speed up to 170 km/h, hitting engine's red line.
Can you estimate your car lifespan? Do you expect having various problems with your car after a short time? Driving your car at high speed for a long time is like always eating too full. You force your body to always work at its red line.

Do you know digestion is the most demanding work for your body?Think about the organs involved such as your mouth, stomach, liver, pancreas, duodenum and intestine. Think about the length of digestive tract from your mouth to intestine. Eating too full zaps up much of your body energy for digestion. Otherwise, this energy may be used for other purpose such as enhancing your immune system.
Do you realize you become very tired easily after a big meal? That is the sign of your body working hard to digest all the food you take in. If you eat an extra bowl of noodle, your pancreas has to produce extra insulin hormone to process the extra carbohydrates you take. Your liver, stomach and intestine also have to produce extra enzymes to digest and process specific nutrients from that bowl of noodle. Therefore the more you eat, the harder your body has to work to process it. Of course, we must eat to survive. But we don't have to eat that much!
If you drive your car slowly and handle it gently, you can use it for a long time. But if you always floor the accelerator and drive like a rally driver, you know the consequence on your car life span.
=================================
Side effects of eating too full =================================
Your car engine burns fuel to move your car and bring you to anywhere you like to go. As a result, the engine produces exhaust smoke which is toxic. It must be dispersed out from your car. Similarly, your body cell burns nutrient for energy to survive. In the process, it produces free radicals. Since free radical is toxic to your body, it has to be neutralized and expelled. "Just metabolizing food especially fatty and carbohydrate-rich fare causes the body to produce free radicals, which attack cells and can promote the development of chronic conditions including heart disease, diabetes and cancer," says Ronald L. Prior, Ph..D.
Of course, your body can control free radicals in small quantity. But the more you eat, the more free radicals your body produces. Without adequate control, these free radicals easily attack your body cells and eventually cause all sort of diseases. =================================
Good eating habits ================
After knowing the harmful effects of eating too full, what's your choice? Do you want to live longer, just like the second group mice in the experiment? Or do you want to risk ending your life earlier, just like the first group of mice?
If you wish to live longer, here are some tips you can follow:

1. Always eat until 70% full. Do not exceed 80% full. You may want to stop eating when you feel slightly full.
2. Avoid having buffet style meal which makes it harder to control how much you eat. Instead, prepare the food you want to eat in a plate. After finishing it, don't add anymore food..
3. Leaving the dining table earlier may prevent you from picking some extra food to eat.
4. It is always a good idea to prepare lesser food in the first place. Some people are afraid of having not enough food for everyone. Actually, lesser food is beneficial for everyone.. In a restaurant, order in small amount first. You can always add in some extra order if necessary. But if you can get by with the original smaller order, that's great.
Remember this: You have higher chance of overeating if you serve more food on the table.
You have better chance of not overeating if you serve less food.
5. Avoid stuffing your fridge with ice cream, chocolate or other dessert. You cannot eat what you do not have.
6. When someone prepares a big plate of food for you, look at it first. Ask yourself, "Do I want to stuff it all into my stomach?" If your answer is No, just put aside some food to another empty plate first.. After finishing your food, look back at the extra food on that new plate. Say to yourself, "Phew! Luckily I didn't stuff that portion into my stomach."
7. When you get too hungry before your meal time, just take some fruit instead of heavy meal.
The tendency to overeat is very high for modern people.. Do you know most monks only eat twice a day? They wake up at 4am, meditate and say their prayer. Later they have their simple breakfast at 7am. Before 12pm, they have their lunch. That's all for them. They eat no more after that. No tea break. No dinner. No supper. They still look strong and energetic.
Of course, we don't have to eat like them. But it reminds us we can eat less and stay healthy. So remember to eat only 70% full if you want to stay healthy.

[ Contributed Ronnie Lim ]

Men and too much beer

2010-03-18T01:00:00.003+08:00

EFFECTS OF DRINKING TOO MUCH BEER

*Beer contains female hormones.
Last month, scientists from Wits University released the results of a recent research that revealed the presence of female hormones in beer.

* Men should take a concerned look at their beer consumption..The theory is that beer contains female hormones (beer contains Phytoestrogens) and that by drinking too much beer, men turn into women .

* To test the theory, 100 men drank 8 pints of beer each.

Within a 1 hour period.
It was then observed that 100% of the test subjects :

1) Argued over nothing

2) Refused to apologize when obviously wrong

3)Had rosy cheeks

4) Talked excessively without making sense

5) Became overly emotional

6) Couldn't drive properly

7) Failed to think rationally

8) Urinated while squatting

9) Private organ shrank

10) Lie down with legs outstretched

*No further testing was considered necessary.
Send this to the men you know to warn them about drinking too much beer

[ Contributed by Ronnie Lim ]

You will love this lawyer!

2010-03-18T00:48:00.003+08:00

A Mafia Godfather finds out that his bookkeeper has cheated him out of $10 million bucks. His bookkeeper is deaf. That was the reason he got the job in the first place.

It was assumed that a deaf bookkeeper would not hear anything that he might have to testify about in court.

When the Godfather goes to confront the bookkeeper about his missing $10 million, he brings along his attorney, who knows sign language.

The Godfather tells the lawyer 'Ask him where the $10 million he embezzled from me is.'
The attorney, using sign language, asks the bookkeeper where the money is.

The bookkeeper signs back: 'I don't know what you are talking about.'

The attorney tells the Godfather: 'He says he doesn't know what you're talking about.'

The Godfather pulls out a pistol, puts it to the bookkeeper's temple and says, 'Ask him again!'

The attorney signs to the bookkeeper: 'He'll kill you if you don't tell him!'

The bookkeeper signs back: 'OK! OK! You win! The money is in a brown briefcase buried behind the shed in my cousin Enzo's backyard in Queens !'

The Godfather asks the attorney: 'Well, what'd he say?'

The attorney replies: 'He says you don't have the guts to pull the trigger.'

Bang!! Case over.

And for the few minutes, the lawyer is richer by $10 million dollars.

Don't you just love lawyers?........

[ Contributed by Ronnie Lim ]

Ancient Chinese Wisdom

2009-11-23T02:21:00.002+08:00

Ancient Chinese Wisdom:
Very philosophical
Live Learn Work Play

人啊！Man, O Man!
沒錢的時候，養豬；有錢的時候，養狗。
When without money, keep pigs;When have money, keep dogs.

沒錢的時候，在家裡吃野菜；有錢的時候，在酒店吃野菜。
When without money, eat wild vege at home ; When have money, eat same wild vege in fine restaurant.

沒錢的時候，在馬路上騎自行車；有錢的時候，在客廳裡騎自行車。
When without money, ride bicycle; When have money, ride exercise machine.

沒錢的時候,想結婚；有錢的時候,想離婚。
When without money, wish to get married; When have money, wish to get divorced.

沒錢的時候,老婆兼秘書；有錢的時候,秘書兼老婆。
When without money, wife becomes secretary;When have money, secretary becomes wife.

沒錢的時候,假裝有錢；有錢的時候,假裝沒錢。
When without money, act like rich man; When with money, act like poor man.

人啊，都不講實話：
Man, O Man, never tells the truth:

說股票是毒品，都在玩；說金錢是罪惡，都在撈；
Says sharemarket is bad but keeps speculating;Says money is evil but keeps accumulating.

說美女是禍水，都想要；說高處不勝寒，都在爬；
Says women are trouble-makers but keeps desiring them;Says high positions are lonely but keeps wanting them.

說煙酒傷身體，就不戒；說天堂最美好，都不去!!!
Says smoking & drinking is bad but keeps partaking;Says heaven is good but refused to go.

過去把第一次留給丈夫；現在把第一胎留給丈夫。
In the past, woman gives man their virginity; Now, woman gives man their newborn baby.

鄉下早晨雞叫人，城裡晚上人叫雞；
In the rural area, chicken calls man awake;In the cities, man calls for chickens.

舊社會戲子賣藝不賣身，新社會演員賣身不賣藝。
In the past, famous actresses will not sell their bodies;Now, actresses will sell their bodies to become famous

人生是什麼?
What is life about?

1 歲時出場亮相
At one, YOU are the top priority

10 歲時功課至上
At ten, academic excellence is the top priority

20 歲時春心盪漾
At twenty, getting laid is the top priority

30 歲時職場對抗
At thirty, a good career is top priority

40 歲時身材發胖
At forty, keeping your body in shape is top priority

50 歲時打打麻將
At fifty, beating others at mahjong is top priority

60 歲時老當益壯
At sixty, keeping up with IT is top priority

70 歲時常常健忘
At seventy, remembering something is top priority

80 歲時搖搖晃晃
At eighty, moving around is top priority 90 歲時迷失方向 At ninety, knowing directions is top priority

100 歲時掛在牆上
At 100, having your portrait on the wall is top priority!

祝大家愉快，好好做人!
Wishing you all happiness! Be good!

[ Contributed by my good philosopher friend Ronnie Lim ]

Mating Call

2009-11-19T17:34:00.006+08:00

Mating Call
[ Maybe not one to send on to any Irish friends we may have ]

Two Red Indians and an Irishman were walking through the woods.
All of a sudden one of the Red Indians ran up a hill to the mouth of a small cave.

'Wooooo! Wooooo! Wooooo!' he called into the cave and listened closely until he heard an answering, 'Wooooo! Wooooo! Woooooo!

He then tore off his clothes and ran into the cave.

The Irishman was puzzled and asked the remaining Indian what it was all about,. 'Was the other Indian crazy or what?'

The Indian replied, 'No, It is our custom during mating season when Indian men see cave, they holler 'Wooooo! Wooooo! Wooooo!' into the opening. If they get an answer back, it means there's a beautiful squaw in there waiting for us.

Just then they came upon another cave. The second Indian ran up to the cave, stopped, and hollered, 'Wooooo! Wooooo! Wooooo!'
Immediately, there was the answer. 'Wooooo! Wooooo! Wooooo!' from deep inside.

He also tore off his clothes and ran into the opening.

The Irishman wandered around in the woods alone for a while, and then spied a third large cave. As he looked in amazement at the size of the huge opening, he was thinking, 'Hoo, man! Look at the size of this cave! It is bigger than those the Indians found. There must be some really big, fine women in this cave!'

He stood in front of the opening and hollered with all his might
'Wooooo! Wooooo! Wooooo!'

Like the others, he then heard an answering call, 'WOOOOOOOOO, WOOOOOOOOO, WOOOOOOOOO!'

With a gleam in his eye and a smile on his face, he raced into the cave,tearing off his clothes as he ran.

The following day, the headline of the local newspaper read.............

NAKED IRISHMAN RUN OVER BY TRAIN!!!

[ Contributed by HC Chue ]

Your Duck is Dead

2009-11-19T17:10:00.003+08:00

Feeling bored? - It's raining cats and dogs outside.
Read the following to amuse yourself.

Your Duck is Dead

A woman brought a very limp duck to a veterinary surgeon. As she laid her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird’s chest. After a moment or two, the vet shook his head sadly and said, “I’m sorry, your duck, Cuddles, has passed away.”
The distressed woman wailed, “Are you sure?”
“Yes, I am sure. Your duck is dead,” replied the vet.
“How can you be so sure?” she protested. “I mean you haven’t done any testing on him or anything. He might just be in a coma or something.”
The vet rolled his eyes, turned around, and left the room.
He returned a few minutes later with a black Labrador Retriever.
As the duck’s owner looked on in amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs, put his front paws on the examination table and sniffed the duck from top to bottom. He then looked up at the vet with sad eyes and shook his head. The vet patted the dog on the head and took it out of the room.
A few minutes later he returned with a cat. The cat jumped on the table and also delicately sniffed the bird from head to foot. The cat sat back on its haunches, shook its head, meowed softly, and strolled out of the room.
The vet looked at the woman and said, “I’m sorry, but as I said, this is most definitely, 100% certifiably, a dead duck.”
The vet turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys, and produced a bill, which he handed to the woman.
The duck’s owner, still in shock, took the bill. “$150!” she cried,
“$150 just to tell me my duck is dead!”
The vet shrugged, “I’m sorry. If you had just taken my word for it, the bill would have been $20, but with the Lab Report and the Cat Scan, it’s now $150.”

[ Contributed by Mr TF Chan ]

I haven't stopped laughing! Haha.
Next time you are at the vet...don't argue with Dr Vet.

Loansharks in Serangoon North

2009-11-11T02:11:00.008+08:00

The last couple of years has seen a tremendous increase in the number of loansharks
cases in Singapore. From police stats...more people have been arrested for criminal harassment, intimidation, vandalism and other brutish crimes in connection with illegal loansharking activity.
The number of young persons arrested have also seen a marked increase. Many are still in schools while others are school dropouts. Some are as young as 11 or 12 years old ( Primary school kids).
Most of those arrested are themselves "debtors" turned runners for the illegal syndicates. Some found it so lucrative that they offered their services as criminal intimidators and vandals to different syndicates for a fee. Schoolgirls are also involved in such crimes these days.
The schools must be at a dead loss as to how to prevent and stop their students from turning into juvenile criminals.
Almost all of these criminal activities take place outside the school and at times totally beyond the control and jurisdiction of the schools.
I have only one QUESTION to pose to the parents or guardians of these teen-age loansharkers....
these are your children, your sons or daughters involved in attempts to physically harm or injure or even kill innocent people by throwing acid, petrol, kerosene, paint and setting their doors/homes on fire;
What have you as legal parents been doing?

Do you not monitor the activity and behaviour of your children?

If you have not done your duty as parents then you will need to shoulder a major part of the blame.
Your son or daughter may have just messed up their life for good.
It is high time that parents be held partly accountable for the unspeakable crimes that some of their kids commit against innocent and defenceless folks which are now common place.
In the UK, parents of kids who skip school without reasons and found loitering etc..are held responsible. There are legislation to punish them!

In the light of all these nefarious activities, I am very, very pleased and proud to learn that my friends from the Serangoon North Merchants Association has just formed their very own neighbourhood "Loanshark Watch Group". This 19 member group will work closely with the residents and police to keep a close watch on things in their own kampong which had been hit recently.
I like this kind of kampong spirit!
So, they have 19 members...Unk Dicko will offer his special help to make it 20.

There is a story on RAZOR TV that featured them.
I just saw it. Click to see at the Straits Times online news 11 Nov 2009.

2009-11-05T19:30:00.002+08:00

LETTER OF RECOMMENDATION

Trevor Adams, my assistant programmer, can always be found
hard at work in his cubicle. Trevor works independently, without
wasting company time talking to colleagues. Trevor never
thinks twice about assisting fellow employees, and he always
finishes given assignments on time. Often he takes extended
measures to complete his work, sometimes skipping coffee
breaks. Trevor is a dedicated individual who has absolutely no
vanity in spite of his high accomplishments and profound
knowledge in his field.. I firmly believe that Trevor can be
classed as a high-calibre employee, the type that cannot be
dispensed with. Consequently, I truly recommend that Trevor be
promoted to executive management, and a proposal will be
executed as soon as possible.

Addendum...
The idiot was standing over my shoulder while I wrote this report.
Kindly re-read only the odd numbered lines.
-----------------------------------

[ Contributed by TF Chan ]

Unk Dicko says....Haha! What a brilliant piece of writing this is! If you received a similar
glowing report in your work, better think twice or better still make sure you read in between the lines!!!

They found out only in Heaven!

2009-11-03T17:45:00.003+08:00

Two Ladies talking in Heaven

1st woman: Hi! My name is Wanda.
2nd woman: Hi! I'm Sylvia. How'd you die?

1st woman: I froze to death.
2nd woman: How horrible!

1st woman: It wasn't so bad. After I quit shaking from the cold, I began to get warm & sleepy, and finally died a peaceful death. What about you?

2nd woman: I died of a massive heart attack. I suspected that my husband was cheating, so I came home early to catch him in the act. But instead, I found him all by himself in the den watching TV.

1st woman: So, what happened?

2nd woman: I was so sure there was another woman there somewhere that I started running all over the house looking.I ran up into the attic and searched,and down into the basement. Then I went through every closet and checked under all the beds. I kept this up until I had looked everywhere, and finally I became so exhausted that I just keeled over with a heart attack and died.

1st woman: Too bad you didn't look in the freezer---we'd both still be alive.

[ Contributed by my HK friend Eddie ...thanks Eddie, really great punchline at end. ]

BEWARE ! Nine Words Women Use

2009-10-16T15:54:00.003+08:00

NINE WORDS WOMEN USE

(1) Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

(2) Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

(3) Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.

(4) Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!

(5) Loud Sigh: This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to # 3 for the meaning of nothing.)

(6) That's Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

(7) Thanks: A woman is thanking you, do not question, or faint. Just say you're welcome. (I want to add in a clause here - This is true, unless she says 'Thanks a lot' - that is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say 'you're welcome'. that will bring on a 'whatever').

(8) Whatever: Is a woman's way of saying F---YOU!

(9) Don't worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking 'What's wrong?' For the woman's response refer to # 3.

* Send this to the men you know, to warn them about arguments they can avoid if they remember the terminology.* Send this to all the women you know to give them a good laugh, 'cause they know it's true!!!

[ Contributed by Ronnie Lim ]

What goes around comes around

2009-10-15T04:46:00.003+08:00

What goes around comes around in a full circle.

How to sell a dead donkey?
A city boy, Kenny, moved to the country and bought a donkey from an old farmer for $100.00. The farmer agreed to deliver the donkey the next day.
The next day the farmer drove up and said, "Sorry son, but I have some bad news, the donkey died last night."
Kenny replied: "Well then, just give me my money back."
The farmer said: "Can't do that. I went and spent it already."
Kenny said: "OK then, just unload the donkey.."
The farmer asked: "What ya gonna do with him?"
Kenny: "I'm going to raffle him off."
(Note: To raffle is to sell a thing by lottery - draw lot - to a group of people each paying the same amount for a ticket)
Farmer: "You can't raffle off a dead donkey!"
Kenny: "Sure I can. Watch me. I just won't tell anybody he's dead."
A month later the farmer met up with Kenny and asked, "What happened with that dead donkey?"
Kenny: "I raffled him off. I sold 500 tickets at two dollars apiece and made a profit of $898.00."
Farmer: "Didn't anyone complain?"
Kenny: "Just the guy who won.
So I gave him back his two dollars."
Kenny grew up and eventually became the chairman of Enron.
But Enron finally collapsed just like that donkey???
What goes around comes around in a full circle.

[ Contributed bt TF Chan ]

How your car can be hijacked! WARNING!

2009-10-08T17:22:00.003+08:00

Subject: Police Warning ON CAR STICKER ON REAR WINDSCREEN OF CAR!

Warning..!!!! Warning..!!!!

Just last weekend on Friday night we parked in a public parking area. As we drove away I noticed a sticker on the rear window of the car. When I took it off after I got home, it was a receipt for gas. Luckily my friend told me not to stop as it could be someone waiting for me to get out of the car.
Then we received this email yesterday:

WARNING FROM POLICE
THIS APPLIES TO BOTH WOMEN AND MEN
BEWARE OF PAPER ON THE BACK WINDOW OF YOUR VEHICLE-- NEW WAY TO DO CARJACKINGS (NOT A JOKE)'

Heads up everyone!
Please, keep this circulating..... You walk across the parking lot, unlock your car and get inside. You start the engine and shift into Reverse. When you look into the rearview mirror to back out of your parking space, you notice a piece of paper stuck to the middle of the rear window.
So, you shift into Park, unlock your doors, and jump out of your car to remove that paper (or whatever it is) that is obstructing your view. When you reach the back of your car, that is when the carjackers appear out of nowhere, jump into your car and take off. They practically mow you down as they speed off in your car.
And guess what, ladies? I bet your purse is still in the car. So now the carjacker has your car, your home address, your money, and your keys. Your home and your whole identity are now compromised!
BEWARE OF THIS NEW SCHEME THAT IS NOW BEING USED...
If you see a piece of paper stuck to your back window, just drive away. Remove the paper later. And be thankful that you read this e-mail. I hope you will forward this to friends and family, especially to women. A purse contains all kinds of personal information and identification documents, and you certainly do NOT want this to fall into the wrong hands.
Please keep this going and tell all your friends.

[ Contributed by TF Chan ]

Don't feed raisins, grapes, chocolate or onions to dogs!

2009-10-06T21:30:00.005+08:00

I have checked the various reports about the danger of feeding your pet dogs raisins, grapes,
chocolate, macadamia nuts and onions.... on snopes.com. It is TRUE!
Reports of Grapes and Raisins Causing Problems in Dogs

Veterinary toxicologists at the Animal Poison Control Center are currently investigating cases where dogs have developed kidney failure after ingestion of large quantities of grapes and raisins. The veterinary toxicologists are attempting to determine the causative agents or disease processes. Pet owners whose dogs have ingested large quantities of grapes or raisins, or veterinarians managing such cases, are encouraged to call the ASPCA Animal Poison Control Center (888) 426-4435 immediately.

The following information was obtained from the ASPCA's Animal Poison Control Center's EMail News Alert:
"STRANGE FRUIT?
ASPCA REPORTS ON CASES OF CANINE KIDNEY FAILURE FROM GRAPES AND RAISINS

In response to reports of dogs developing kidney failure after eating large amounts of grapes or raisins, the ASPCA Animal Poison Control Center (APCC) conducted a review of all related cases in its database. Veterinary toxicologists found that all of the companion canines developed vomiting within six hours of ingestion; the estimated amounts of grapes or raisins eaten ranged from nine ounces to two pounds. Other commonly reported signs included diarrhea, anorexia, lethargy and abdominal pain, and all of the dogs developed evidence of kidney disfunction. Adds APCC's Charlotte Means, DVM, "Whether the ingested grapes were purchased fresh from grocery stores or grown in private yards didn't seem to matter, nor did the brand eaten." Clinical signs lasted for several days--sometimes even weeks. And after aggressive treatment, which included intravenous fluids and medications, half of the dogs recovered, while the others died or had to be euthanized.
At present, the exact role of grapes or raisins in these cases--what exactly is the toxic component--is still unclear. But a dog who has ingested large amounts can now be diagnosed and treated successfully. The first line of defense is decontamination, and the canine should be hospitalized and placed on IV fluids. If the blood work appears normal after three days, it's unlikely that kidney failure will occur; if there is evidence of renal failure, more aggressive treatment--including fluids, medication and possibly dialysis--is called for. For more on treating and identifying poisoning from grapes and raisins, please visit APCC online.
If you suspect that your dog has ingested large quantities of raisins or grapes--or any other potentially dangerous substance--call your veterinarian or the APCC's emergency hotline at 1-888-4-ANI-HELP for round-the-clock telephone assistance. For more information on poison prevention, go to APCC online.

UPDATE: ARE TOO MANY GRAPES AND RAISINS BAD FOR DOGS?

When ASPCA News Alert ran an item two weeks ago (August 22, 2002) on the incidence of poisoning in dogs from the ingestion of large amounts of grapes and raisins, many readers wanted to know more. We checked in with the ASPCA Animal Poison Control Center's Dr. Jill A. Richardson for the answers to your questions:
Several canine caretakers wrote in to say that they would no longer give their pets the occasional grape or raisin as a treat. "There are many people who have decided to do the same thing," responds Richardson, "but no one has reported poisoning from their pets ingesting the occasional single grape or raisin. The cases we have received involved ingestion of 2 ounces to 4.4 ounces."
Dog-owning reader Bill Benson was concerned that the few slices of banana he regularly shares with his basenji at breakfast could be harmful to her. Not to worry--"Bananas are okay," says Richardson.
B.J. Shultis e-mailed us about the family's 11-year-old dog, who has had fresh fruit and veggie snacks--including grapes, lettuce and carrots--throughout his life. "After all the years of giving him grapes as treats, could he still possibly get kidney dysfunction?" Shultis asks. Replies Richardson, "We haven't had any reports of dogs developing long-term effects from small ingestion of grapes--one or two as treats, I assume--over the years."
"Can grapes or raisins hurt small animals such as rats and gerbils?" wonders Paula Lizotte. The APCC has not yet received a case involving small animals, or pocket pets, and grapes or raisins. "But we still don't know why some types of the fruit are causing problems and others are not," says Richardson. "And we have had one case of kidney failure in a cat who ate raisins."
For more information on poison prevention, please visit APCC online."

A Great Bodybuilding joke!

2009-10-05T23:54:00.003+08:00

The body builder takes off his shirt and the blonde says,
'What a Great chest you have!'
He tells her, 'That's 100 lbs. of dynamite, Baby.'

He takes off his pants and the blonde says,'What massive calves you have!'

The body builder tells her, 'That's 100 lbs. of dynamite, Baby.'

He then removes his underwear and the blonde goes running out of the apartment screaming in fear.

The body builder puts his clothes back on and chases after her. He catches up to her and asks why she ran out of the apartment like that.
The blonde replies, 'I was afraid to be around all that dynamite after I saw how short the fuse was!'

Could not stop laughing ! Haha.

ERRORS in Messages...dangerous!

2009-09-27T02:17:00.006+08:00

Weekend jokes for you....

Typing Errors

A daughter sent a telegram to her father on passing her B.Ed exams, which the father received as "Father, your daughter has been successful in BED."
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A husband, while on a business trip to a hill station sent a telegram to his wife "I wish you were here." The message received by the wife was "I wish you were her.."
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A man wanted to celebrate his wife's Birthday by throwing a party..So he ordered a birthday cake.
The salesman asked him what message he wanted put on the cake.
He thought for a moment and said, put "Getting older but you are getting better".
The salesman asked "How do you want me to put it?"
The man said 'Well...put "You are getting older" at the top and "But you are getting better" at the bottom.'
When the cake was unveiled at the party all the guests were aghast at the message on the cake.
It reads "You are getting older at the top, but you are getting better at the bottom".

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Moral of the Story:
1. Double proof read everything before you send.

2. Don't trust others to write it for you.

3. Don't order cakes by telephone.

[ Contibuted by TF Chan ]

What our good friends look like at 50.

2009-09-16T00:44:00.011+08:00

BATMAN AND ROBIN So it has been 50 years since Singapore became independent.

Those of you who are of the same generation ( 50 + years ) will share much in common with these charcters.

They too are 50 years old ! HAHA!
Smile and say "Cheeese! "

BARBIE DOLL

TWEETY BIRD

SUPERMAN

THOR

Guess

Who?

SPIDERMAN

Humour of Red Skelton

2009-09-11T23:33:00.002+08:00

Red Skelton's Recipe for Marriage!

For those of you old enough to remember Red Skelton, I think you will enjoy this e-mail.

For those of you not old enough you will see what you missed!!

Either way, his humour was always clean and he was a great entertainer. A rerun of great one liner's from the man who was known for his clean humour. I hope you get a chuckle or two reading them.

RED SKELTON'S RECIPE FOR THE PERFECT MARRIAGE

1. Two times a week we go to a nice restaurant,

have a Little beverage, good food and companionship.

She goes on Tuesdays; ...I go on Fridays.

2. We also sleep in separate beds.

Hers is in California, and mine is in Texas.

3. I take my wife everywhere.... But she keeps finding her way back.

4. I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary.

'Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!' she said.

So I suggested the kitchen.

5. We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.

6. She has an electric blender, electric toaster and electric bread maker.

She said 'There are too many gadgets, and no place to sit down!'

So I bought her an electric chair.

7. My wife told me the car wasn't running well because there was water in the carburetor..I asked where the car was.

She told me, 'In the lake.'

8. She got a mud pack, and looked great for two days.

Then the mud fell off.

9. She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, 'Am I too late for the garbage?'

The driver said, “No, jump in!”

10. Remember: Marriage is the number one cause of divorce.

11. I married Miss Right.

I just didn't know her first name was Always.

12. I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months.I don't like to interrupt her.

13. The last fight was my fault though.

My wife asked, 'What's on the TV?'

I said, 'Dust!'

Can't you just hear him say all of these?
I love it........these were the good old days when humour didn't have to start with a four letter word. It was just clean and simple fun.
And he always ended his programs with the words,

'God Bless"

[ Contributed by TF Chan ]

BARLEY....don't ever overlook this!

2009-09-11T16:22:00.003+08:00

If you have enjoyed this article and know someone who would enjoy it, would you kindly share it with him or her?

Healing and cleansing with barley

High in fibre, barley is also a kidney cleanser.
Better yet, regular intake of it helps prevent heart disease.
BARLEY water was always a regular drink when we were still living at home.
Whenever we had to go for a medical exam that included a urine test, my mum would make us drink barley water a day before it to make sure we got a positive result!

My mother was a wise woman. I later found out from an Australian naturopath that barley is known to be a kidney cleanser, and she happily downed glasses of it at a meal we had in a coffee-shop here.
Barley is good for your intestinal health too.
Try to eat the barley grains you find in your drink or sweet broth with "fu chook "(beancurd skin in Cantonese) and ginkgo nuts.
It's high in fibre which feeds the friendly bacteria in the colon and helps speed up the transit of fecal matter in it. In this way it helps prevent haemorrhoids and colon cancer.

The propionic acid and beta glucan from barley's insoluble fibre also help lower cholesterol and prevent the formation of gallstones.
Eating barley regularly is a preventive step against heart disease as, besides the fibre content, it is also high in niacin, a B vitamin good for lowering cholesterol.

Diabetics should eat more barley as the fibre will prevent blood sugar levels from rising too high. It also provides relief from constipation or diarrhoea for those suffering from Irritable Bowel Syndrome.
Barley is rich in selenium which prevents cancer and relieves symptoms of asthma and arthritis. It is a good source of manganese, copper and phosphorous.
Malt sugar comes from sprouted barley which, when fermented, is an ingredient in beer and other alcoholic beverages.

Barley, whose Latin name is " hordeum vulgare" , has been cultivated for more than 10,000 years. Since ancient times, barley has been used for healing purposes and has been known to the Chinese, Egyptians, Greeks and Romans. Athletes in Greece and Rome in those days were known to eat barley bread to give them strength.

Besides the usual things we do with barley, I enjoy having it in a western soup. The larger pearl barley is used and I love the sticky bite of it.

Here's a recipe for barley soup:

Barley soup with roasted garlic
1 cup pearl barley 5 cloves whole garlic,
roasted 2 litres chicken stock, steeped from 1 chicken breast simmered in three litres water
2 tbsps vegetable oil,
2 large onions,
diced 2 carrots,
diced 2 stalks celery,
diced 150g turkey ham,
cut up 1 tsp ground white pepper
1 tsps sea salt or to taste 1 tbsp chopped parsley.

Method
1. Wash barley and soak it in a bowl of water for three hours. Drain.
2. Heat oil in pan and fry onions. Add carrots and celery, then the barley and fry for three minutes.
3. Add chicken stock, pepper and roasted garlic and simmer over low heat for at least an hour, or until barley is soft.
4. Add salt to taste and serve the soup garnished with chopped parsley.

[ Contributed by Violet/Yu Sing Tong through D2 ]

Unk Dicko's comments:
I could have died twice in 1965 and in 1970....if not for the healing powers of BARLEY!
What happened back then?
In 1965, since I started working in govt service..I had an income, not much but sufficient for me and a few like-minded friends to start on body building to keep fit and in shape.
The "workout gym " was at my old home in Geylang. We made it ourselves.
Food in those days were just enough for survival for people like us..all humble folks.
There was just not enough proteins in our daily food intake to sustain our body building programme.
So, I went down to North Bridge Road to shop for weight-gaining supplements.
I chose Weider's Weight Gain formula which came in cans. The content was in powdered form
and looked similar to Milo or Ovaltine.
But it was not very good tasting.
However, it produced the desired results...fast. I gained weight and added on muscle mass through the regular workouts.
The instructions on the can said clearly...consume 1 can daily.
I consumed half a can daily as I figured we are Asians and the advice was applicable for Americans ( Weider...was manufactured in USA ).

One fine morning, towards the end of that year, I suddenly felt dizzy...went to the toilet and found my urine was all red! I was passing out blood.
Without a moment's hesitation, I took a slow walk to my family doctor just outside Lorong 40, Geylang. Dr Thung L H, a very genial and lovable GP took a look at the bottle of "red urine" I had brought along and immediately wrote me a referral to be admitted to the SGH. He told me
to go straight away...no delay!
That was what I did and I was in the renal unit for about 5 days. The head of the unit was a very-well known Prof who recommended that I should drink BARLEY water every day and if possible eat the barley too. He told me to buy the raw barley, not those processed ones.

My kidneys were overworked by too much proteins consumed ( Weider's formula) in a short time-span. The tiny capillaries in the kidneys burst causing internal bleeding ...which could have been fatal.
Soon as I consumed lots of barley...my condition improved tremendously!
No drugs were issued to me for my treatment.
The only cure was Barley!

The same thing happened again in 1970 when I somehow forgot the earlier, near disaster 5 years before. Again I was passing out pure blood and again I was rushed to SGH.
The good Prof was still there in the same renal unit.
He gave me that same advice again...take plenty of Barley.
Again I recovered !

I have since been a great promoter and supporter of Barley as a healing cereal.

Kill CANCER...take Ginger!

2009-09-11T16:12:00.002+08:00

Hi All,
Please forward to all your Cancer friends who may need this remedy to fight their cancer.
Keep forwarding as this will help others from time to time.

A Cancer Killer in the Kitchen - Ginger

The powerful healing effects of ginger have been well documented. It's a proven remedy for upset stomach. Reams of studies show that it inhibits inflammation. And there is substantial evidence that it fights cancer too.
For instance, a recent University of Michigan study showed that when ginger was added to ovarian cancer cells in the laboratory, it caused the cancer cells to self-destruct (a process known as "apoptosis"). In a separate study at the University of Minnesota , researchers injected colon cancer cells into mice that were bred to have no immune system.

Half of these mice were routinely fed gingerol, the main active component in ginger. The researchers found that the mice that were fed gingerol lived longer, their tumors were smaller, and the cancer did not spread as widely as in the control group.

With all these health benefits, you should be using ginger as often as you can. The best way I've found to get a healthy serving of ginger is to juice it. (The brand of juicer I use is an Omega.) Two or three days a week, I juice an apple or two, some carrots, spinach, broccoli, cabbage, and a big piece of ginger root.
The ginger gives the drink a great flavor and a powerful anti-cancer kick. I highly recommend that you try it.

[ Contributed by Yu Sing Tong through D2 ]

My comments:
Thanks for forwarding this very helpful report.
I do believe in the properties of Ginger...long time ago.
How I knew? Don't really know. I guess my body's 6th sense told me so.

CRANKY OLD MAN

2009-09-10T07:45:00.003+08:00

When an old man died in the geriatric ward of a nursing home in country New South Wales, it was believed that he had nothing left of any value.
Later, when the nurses were going through his meagre possessions, they found this poem.
Its quality and content so impressed the staff that copies were made and distributed to every nurse in the hospital.

One nurse took her copy to Melbourne. The old man's sole bequest to posterity has since appeared in the Christmas editions of magazines around the country and appearing in mags for Mental Health. A slide presentation has also been made based on his simple, but eloquent, poem.
And this old man, with nothing left to give to the world, is now the author of this 'anonymous' poem winging across the Internet.

"Cranky Old Man
What do you see nurses? . . . . .What do you see?
What are you thinking .. . . . . when you're looking at me?
A cranky old man, . . . . . .not very wise,
Uncertain of habit .. . . . . . . . with faraway eyes?

Who dribbles his food .. . .. . . . . and makes no reply.
When you say in a loud voice . . . . .. 'I do wish you'd try!'
Who seems not to notice . . . . .the things that you do.
And forever is losing . . . . . . . . . . A sock or shoe?

Who, resisting or not .. . . . .. . . . . . . lets you do as you will,
With bathing and feeding . .. . . . .The long day to fill?
Is that what you're thinking? . . . . . . Is that what you see?
Then open your eyes, nurse . . . . . .. you're not looking at me.

I'll tell you who I am . . . . . . . As I sit here so still,
As I do at your bidding, . . . . . . as I eat at your will.
I'm a small child of Ten . . . . . . . with a father and mother,
Brothers and sisters .. . . . . . . . who love one another.

A young boy of Sixteen . . . . . with wings on his feet
Dreaming that soon now . . . . .. . . a lover he'll meet.
A groom soon at Twenty . . . . . . . my heart gives a leap.
Remembering, the vows .. . . . . . that I promised to keep.

At Twenty-Five, now . . . . . ... . . . . I have young of my own.
Who need me to guide . . . . And a secure happy home.
A man of Thirty . . . . . . . . .. My young now grown fast,
Bound to each other . . . . . . . With ties that should last.

At Forty, my young sons .. . . . . have grown and are gone,
But my woman is beside me . . . . . . . to see I don't mourn.
At Fifty, once more, . . . . . .. ..Babies play 'round my knee,
Again, we know children . . . . . . . My loved one and me.

Dark days are upon me . . . . . . . . My wife is now dead.
I look at the future ... . . . . . . . . .. . . . . I shudder with dread.
For my young are all rearing . . . . . . young of their own.
And I think of the years . . .. . . . . And the love that I've known.

I'm now an old man . . . . . . . . . and nature is cruel.
It's jest to make old age . . . . . . . look like a fool.
The body, it crumbles .. . . . ... . .. . . . grace and vigour, depart.
There is now a stone .. . . . . .. . where I once had a heart.

But inside this old carcass . . . .. A young man still dwells,
And now and again . . . .. . . . my battered heart swells.
I remember the joys . .. . . . . . . . .. . I remember the pain.
And I'm loving and living . . . . .. . . . . . . . . life over again.

I think of the years, all too few . . . . . . gone too fast.
And accept the stark fact . . . . . . . . that nothing can last.
So open your eyes, people . . . . . . . . open and see.
Not a cranky old man. Look closer . . . . see . . . . . ME!!"

[ Contributed by Edward T ]

The DASH...an inspiring poem

2009-09-09T17:35:00.002+08:00

A truly inspiring poem.
Click on the link below to watch the beautiful presentation.

Subject: World Famous Poem: The Dash
The Dash by Linda Ellis

I read of a man who stood to speak
At the funeral of a friend.
He referred to the dates on her tombstone
From the beginning to the end.

He noted that first came the date of her birth
And spoke of the following date with tears,
But he said what mattered most of all
Was the dash between those years.

For that dash represents all the time
That she spent alive on earth
And now only those who loved her
Know what that little line is worth.

For it matters not, how much we own,
The cars, the house, the cash,
What matters is how we live and love
And how we spend our dash.

So think about this long and hard;
Are there things you’d like to change?
For you never know how much time is left
That can still be rearranged.

If we could just slow down enough
To consider what’s true and real
And always try to understand
The way other people feel.

And be less quick to anger
And show appreciation more
And love the people in our lives
Like we’ve never loved before.

If we treat each other with respect
And more often wear a smile,
Remembering that this special dash
Might only last a little while.

So when your eulogy is being read
With your life’s actions to rehash
Would you be proud of the things they say
About how you spent your dash?

© 1996 Linda Ellis
And here’s a link to the beautiful movie:http://www.thedashmovie.com/
The clip comes with music too and beautiful scenes of the countryside.

[ Contributed by Ronnie Lim ]

Phone Call SCAM....Beware!

2009-09-04T13:22:00.003+08:00

VERY Important Msg for all mobile phone users
Don't press #90 or #09

If you receive a phone call on your mobile from any person,
saying that,that they're checking your mobile line, and you have to press # 90 or #09
or any other number.
End this call immediately without pressing any numbers.

There is a fraud company using a device that once you press #90 or #09
they can access your 'SIM' card and make calls at your expense.

Forward this message to as many friends as you can, to stop it.

This information has been confirmed by both Motorola and Nokia.

[ Forwarded by many of you to me ]

Crazy ENGLISH to be replaced by EURO-ENGLISH!

2009-09-03T04:40:00.003+08:00

1. THESE CHANGES MAY SOUND INTERESTING BUT CRAZY. IT MAY FURTHER COMPLICATE MATTERS LOCALLY.

2. WHAT IS THE MINISTRY OF EDUCATION GOING TO DO ABOUT THESE CHANGES?

3. HOW WILL THESE CHANGES AFFECT OUR STUDENTS &
THE PUBLIC AT LARGE?

4. WITH THESE CHANGES, IT WILL CERTAINLY AFFECT THE WHOLE WORLD'S ENGLISH LANGUAGE.

European English:
The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility.
As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5- year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English" .

In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter. There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.

In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.
Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.

By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v".

During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensi bl riten styl.
Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.

Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas.
If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl.

[ unk Dicko wud lik to tank TF Chan for zis artikl ]

Two CHOICES ...what would you do?

2009-08-30T07:14:00.002+08:00

Two Choices
What would you do?....you make the choice.
Don't look for a punch line, there isn't one.
Read it anyway. My question is: Would you have made the same choice?

At a fund raising dinner for a school that serves children with learning disabilities, the father of one of the students delivered a speech that would never be forgotten by all who attended.
After extolling the school and its dedicated staff, he offered a question: 'When not interfered with by outside influences, everything nature does, is done with perfection. Yet my son, Shay, cannot learn things as other children do. He cannot understand things as other children do. Where is the natural order of things in my son?'

The audience was stilled by the query.

The father continued. 'I believe that when a child like Shay, who was mentally and physically disabled comes into the world, an opportunity to realize true human nature presents itself, and it comes in the way other people treat that child.'

Then he told the following story:

Shay and I had walked past a park where some boys Shay knew were playing baseball. Shay asked, 'Do you think they'll let me play?' I knew that most of the boys would not want someone like Shay on their team, but as a father I also understood that if my son were allowed to play, it would give him a much-needed sense of belonging and some confidence to be accepted by others in spite of his handicaps.

I approached one of the boys on the field and asked (not expecting much) if Shay could play. The boy looked around for guidance and said, 'We're losing by six runs and the game is in the eighth inning. I guess he can be on our team and we'll try to put him in to bat in the ninth inning.'

Shay struggled over to the team's bench and, with a broad smile, put on a team shirt. I watched with a small tear in my eye and warmth in my heart.
The boys saw my joy at my son being accepted.

In the bottom of the eighth inning, Shay's team scored a few runs but was still behind by three.
In the top of the ninth inning, Shay put on a glove and played in the right field. Even though no hits came his way, he was obviously ecstatic just to be in the game and on the field, grinning from ear to ear as I waved to him from the stands.

In the bottom of the ninth inning, Shay's team scored again.
Now, with two outs and the bases loaded, the potential winning run was on base and Shay was scheduled to be next at bat.

At this juncture, do they let Shay bat and give away their chance to win the game?

Surprisingly, Shay was given the bat. Everyone knew that a hit was all but impossible because Shay didn't even know how to hold the bat properly, much less connect with the ball.
However, as Shay stepped up to the plate, the pitcher, recognizing that the other team was putting winning aside for this moment in Shay's life, moved in a few steps to lob the ball in softly so Shay could at least make contact.

The first pitch came and Shay swung clumsily and missed.
The pitcher again took a few steps forward to toss the ball softly towards Shay.
As the pitch came in, Shay swung at the ball and hit a slow ground ball right back to the pitcher.
The game would now be over.
The pitcher picked up the soft grounder and could have easily thrown the ball to the first baseman.
Shay would have been out and that would have been the end of the game.
Instead, the pitcher threw the ball right over the first baseman's head, out of reach of all team mates.
Everyone from the stands and both teams started yelling, 'Shay, run to first! Run to first!'

Never in his life had Shay ever run that far, but he made it to first base.
He scampered down the baseline, wide-eyed and startled.
Everyone yelled, 'Run to second, run to second!'
Catching his breath, Shay awkwardly ran towards second, gleaming and struggling to make it to the base.

By the time Shay rounded towards second base, the right fielder had the ball. The smallest guy on their team who now had his first chance to be the hero for his team. He could have thrown the ball to the second-baseman for the tag, but he understood the pitcher's intentions so he, too, intentionally threw the ball high and far over the third-baseman's head.
Shay ran toward third base deliriously as the runners ahead of him circled the bases toward home.

All were screaming, 'Shay, Shay, Shay, all the Way Shay'
Shay reached third base because the opposing shortstop ran to help him by turning him in the direction of third base, and shouted, 'Run to third! Shay, run to third!'
As Shay rounded third, the boys from both teams, and the spectators, were on their feet screaming, 'Shay, run home! Run home!'
Shay ran to home, stepped on the plate, and was cheered as the hero who hit the grand slam and won the game for his team.

'That day', said the father softly with tears now rolling down his face, 'the boys from both teams helped bring a piece of true love and humanity into this world'.

Shay didn't make it to another summer. He died that winter, having never forgotten being the hero and making me so happy, and coming home and seeing his Mother tearfully embrace her little hero of the day!

AND NOW A LITTLE FOOT NOTE TO THIS STORY:
We all send thousands of jokes through the e-mail without a second thought, but when it comes to sending messages about life choices, people hesitate.
The crude, vulgar, and often obscene pass freely through cyberspace, but public discussion about decency is too often suppressed in our schools and workplaces.
If you're thinking about forwarding this message, chances are that you're probably sorting out the people in your address book who aren't the 'appropriate' ones to receive this type of message Well, the person who sent you this believes that we all can make a difference.
We all have thousands of opportunities every single day to help realize the 'natural order of things.'
So many seemingly trivial interactions between two people present us with a choice:
Do we pass along a little spark of love and humanity or do we pass up those opportunities and leave the world a little bit colder in the process?
A wise man once said, every society is judged by how it treats it's least fortunate amongst them.
You now have two choices:
1. Delete
2. Forward
May your day, be a Shay

[ Contributed by Roger Lim ]

What goes around comes around

2009-08-26T17:23:00.004+08:00

WHAT GOES AROUND COMES AROUND

One day a man saw an old lady,stranded on the side of the road, but even in the dim light of day, he could see she needed help
So he pulled up in front of her Mercedes and got out.
His Pontiac was still sputtering when he approached her.
Even with the smile on his face, she was worried.
No one had stopped to help for the last hour or so.
Was he going to hurt her? He didn't look safe; he looked poor and hungry.
He could see that she was frightened, standing out there in the cold.
He knew how she felt.
It was that chill which only fear can put in you.

He said, 'I'm here to help you, ma'am. Why don't you wait in the car where it's warm?
By the way, my name is Bryan Anderson .'

Well, all she had was a flat tire, but for an old lady, that was bad enough.
Bryan crawled under the car looking for a place to put the jack, skinnig his knuckles a time or two.
Soon he was able to change the tire. But he had to get dirty and his hands hurt.
As he was tightening up the lug nuts, she rolled down the window and began to talk to him.
She told him that she was from St. Louis and was only just passing through..
She couldn't thank him enough for coming to her aid.
Bryan just smiled as he closed her trunk.

The lady asked how much she owed him.
Any amount would have been all right with her.
She already imagined all the awful things that could have happened had he not stopped.

Bryan never thought twice about being paid.
This was not a job to him.
This was helping someone in need, and God knows there were plenty, who had given him a hand in the past.
He had lived his whole life that way, and it never occurred to him to act any other way.
He told her that if she really wanted to pay him back, the next time she saw someone who needed help, she could give that person the assistance they needed, and Bryan added, 'And think of me.'
He waited until she started her car and drove off.
It had been a cold and depressing day, but he felt good as he headed for home, disappearing into the twilight.

A few miles down the road the lady saw a small cafe.
She went in to grab a bite to eat, and take the chill off before she made the last leg of her trip home..
It was a dingy looking restaurant.
Outside were two old gas pumps.
The whole scene was unfamiliar to her. The waitress came over and brought a clean towel to wipe her wet hair.
She had a sweet smile, one that even being on her feet for the whole day couldn't erase.
The lady noticed the waitress was nearly eight months pregnant, but she never let the strain and aches change her attitude.
The old lady wondered how someone who had so little could be so giving to a stranger.
Then she remembered Bryan ...

After the lady finished her meal, she paid with a hundred dollar bill.
The waitress quickly went to get change for her hundred dollar bill, but the old lady had slipped right out the door.
She was gone by the time the waitress came back.

The waitress wondered where the lady could be.
Then she noticed something written on the napkin.
There were tears in her eyes when she read what the lady wrote: 'You don't owe me anything. I have been there too. Somebody once helped me out, the way I'm helping you. If you really want to pay me back, here is what you do: Do not let this chain of love end with you..'
' Under the napkin were four more $100 bills.

Well, there were tables to clear, sugar bowls to fill, and people to serve, but the waitress made it through another day.
That night when she got home from work and climbed into bed, she was thinking about the money and what the lady had written.
How could the lady have known how much she and her husband needed it?
With the baby due next month, it was going to be hard..... She knew how worried her husband was, and as he lay sleeping next to her, she gave him a soft kiss and whispered soft and low, 'Every thing's going to be all right. I love you, Bryan Anderson .'

There is an old saying 'What goes around comes around.'
(Obadiah 15; Gal. 6:7)

Pass this story on. Let this light shine.
Simply, pass this on to a friend.
Good friends are like stars....You don't always see them, but you know they are always
there.
[ Contributed by H C Chue ]

Best Definition of True GLOBALISATION

2009-08-20T20:37:00.002+08:00

True Globalization

INTERNATIONAL THINKING
Question:
What is the truest definition of Globalization?

Answer:
Princess Diana's death.

Question:
How come?

Answer:
An English princess with an Egyptian boyfriend crashes in a French tunnel, driving a German car with a Dutch engine, driven by a Belgian who was drunk on Scottish whisky, (check the bottle before you change the spelling) followed closely by Italian Paparazzi, on Japanese motorcycles; treated by an American doctor, using Brazilian medicines.

This is sent to you by an American, using Bill Gates's technology, and you're probably reading this on your computer, that use Taiwanese chips, and a Korean monitor, assembled by Bangladeshi workers in a Singapore plant, transported by Indian lorry-drivers, hijacked by Indonesians, unloaded by Sicilian longshoremen, and trucked to you by Mexicans, thru Texas by burros with no visa!

That, my friends, is True Globalization.

[ Contributed by TF Chan ]

Wisdom and Charm !

2009-08-18T13:16:00.003+08:00

Charming...

Two informally dressed ladies happened to start up a conversation during an endless wait in the airport.
The first lady was an arrogant woman married to a wealthy man.
The second was a well mannered elderly woman.
When the conversation centered on whether they had any children, the wealthy woman started by saying,"When my first child was born, my husband built a beautiful mansion for me."

The elderly lady commented, "Well, isn't that precious?"
The first woman continued, "When my second child was born, my husband bought me a beautiful Mercedes-Benz.."

Again, the elderly lady commented, "Well, isn't that precious?"
The first woman continued boasting, "Then, when my third child was born, my husband bought me this exquisite diamond bracelet".
Yet again, the elderly lady commented, "Well, isn't that precious?"
The first woman then asked her companion,
"What did your husband buy for you when you had your first child?"
"My husband sent me to charm school," declared the other lady.

"Charm school?" the first woman cried,
"Oh, my God! What on earth for?"

The elderly lady responded,
"Well for example,
instead of saying "Who gives a shit?"I learned to say, "Well, isn't that precious"...

[ Contributed by YG ]

A fabulously simple method for solving debts in US!

2009-08-14T16:28:00.003+08:00

An interesting article....on the current US economy.

The New Economy - lives by the hour.
It is a slow day in the east Texas town of Longview .
It is raining, and the little town looks totally deserted. Times are tough, everybody is in debt and everybody lives on credit.
On this particular day, a rich tourist from the East is driving through town.
He enters the only hotel in the sleepy town and lays a hundred dollar bill on the desk stating he wants to inspect the rooms upstairs in order to pick one to spend the night.

As soon as the man walks up the stairs, the hotel proprietor takes the hundred dollar bill and runs next door to pay his debt to the butcher.
The butcher takes the $100 and runs down the street to pay his debt to the pig farmer.

The pig farmer then takes the $100 and heads off to pay his debt to the supplier of feed and fuel.
The guy at the farmer's co-op takes the $100 and runs to pay his debt to the local prostitute, who has also been facing hard times and has lately had to offer her "services" on credit

The hooker runs to the hotel and pays off her debt with the $100 to the hotel proprietor, paying for the rooms that she had rented when she brought clients to that establishment.

The hotel proprietor then lays the $100 bill back on the counter so the rich traveler will not suspect anything.

At that moment, the traveler from the East walks back down the stairs after inspecting the rooms.
He picks up the $100 bill and states that the rooms are not satisfactory, pockets the money and walks out the door and leaves town.

No one earned anything.
However the whole town is now out of debt and looks to the future with a lot of optimism.

That, ladies and gentlemen, is how the United States Government is conducting business today.

[ Contributed by Ronnie Lim ]

CRIME Watch. Credit Card Scams!

2009-08-03T02:57:00.002+08:00

These are some incidents that are among a host of scams involving credit cards. Be extremely watchful and ALERT especially when you are paying for anything with your cards. Do check that the card returned to you is really yours and that no hanky-panky phishing or filming of your card has taken place.
If you know of other scams please share it with all in the comment box.

Scene 1
A friend went to the local gym and placed his belongings in the locker. After the workout and a shower, he came out, saw the locker open, and thought to himself, 'Funny, I thought I locked the locker. ? Hmm, ? '
He dressed and just flipped the wallet to make sure all was in order.
Everything looked okay - all cards were in place.
A few weeks later his credit card bill came - a whooping bill of $14,000!
He called the credit card company and started yelling at them, saying that he did not make the transactions.
Customer care personnel verified that there was no Mistake in the system and asked if his card had been stolen. ?
'No,' he said, but then took out his wallet, pulled out the credit card, and yep - you guessed it - a switch had been made.
An expired similar credit card from the same bank was in the wallet.
The thief broke into his locker at the gym and switched cards.
Verdict: The credit card issuer said since he did not report the card missing earlier, he would have to pay the amount owed to them.
How much did he have to pay for items he did not buy?
$9,000!
Why were there no calls made to verify the amount swiped?
Small amounts rarely trigger a 'warning bell' with some credit card companies.
It just so happens that all the small amounts added up to big one!

SCENE 2.
A man at a local restaurant paid for his meal with his credit card. The bill for the meal came, he signed it,and the waitress folded the receipt and passed the credit card along.
Usually, he would just take it and place it in his wallet or pocket.
Funny enough, though, he actually took a look at the card and, lo and behold, it was the expired card of another person.
He called the waitress and she looked perplexed.
She took it back, apologized, and hurried back to the counter under the watchful eye of the man. All the waitress did while walking to the counter was wave the wrong expired card to the counter cashier, and the counter cashier immediately looked down and took out the real card.
No exchange of words --- nothing!
She took it and came back to the man with an apology.
Verdict:
Make sure the credit cards in your wallet are yours.
Check the name on the card every time you sign for something and/or the card is taken away for even a short period of time.
Many people just take back the credit card without even looking at it, 'assuming' that it has to be theirs.

FOR YOUR OWN SAKE, DEVELOP THE HABIT OF CHECKING YOUR CREDIT CARD EACH TIME IT IS RETURNED TO YOU AFTER A TRANSACTION!

Scene 3
Yesterday I went into a pizza restaurant to pick up an order that I had called in.
I paid by using my Visa

Check Card which, of course, is linked directly to my checking account. The young man behind the counter took my card, swiped it, then laid it on the counter as he waited for the approval, which is pretty standard procedure.

While he waited, he picked up his cell phone and started dialing.
I noticed the phone because it is the same model I have, but nothing seemed out of the ordinary. Then I heard a click that sounded like my phone sounds when I take a picture.
He then gave me back my card but kept the phone in his hand as if he was still pressing buttons. Meanwhile, I'm thinking: I wonder what he is taking a picture of, oblivious to what was really going on.
It then dawned on me: the only thing there was my credit card, so now I'm paying close attention to what he is doing.
He set his phone on the counter, leaving it open.
About five seconds later, I heard the chime that tells you that the picture has been saved.
Now I'm standing there struggling with the fact that this boy just took a picture of my credit card.
Yes, he played it off well, because had we not had the same kind of phone, I probably would never have known what happened.
Needless to say, I immediately canceled that card as I was walking out of the pizza parlor.
All I am saying is, be aware of your surroundings at all times.
Whenever you are using your credit card take caution and don't be careless.
Notice who is standing near you and what they are doing when you use your card.
Be aware of phones, because many have a camera phone these days.

FORWARD THIS TO AS MANY PEOPLE AS YOU CAN THINK OF.
LET'S GET THE WORD OUT!
JUST BE AWARE

[ Contributed by HC Chue ]

A Parrot joke

2009-07-29T19:40:00.004+08:00

An old lady buys a pair of parrots, but cannot identify their sexes.

She spends weeks staring at the cage and, eventually, catches them doing what comes naturally.

To make sure she doesn't get them mixed up again, she puts a little white collar around the male parrot's neck.

Later, the local priest visits the old lady.

The male parrot takes one look at the father's collar and says,

"I see she caught you at it, too !"

This is not a joke !

2009-07-16T18:17:00.003+08:00

You'll love this one. As my friend ETH said..a thumb up the nose for bureaucracy!
Just imagine, for 23 years and no one even made a check or communicated with each other
about the man's status, who employed him, who owns the carpark, where was the money collected deposited etc...! Unbelievable ?

Genuine article from Bristol Evening Post - 4th June 2009:-

"Outside Bristol Zoo is the car park, with spaces for 150 cars and 8 coaches.
It has been manned 6 days a week for 23 years by the same charming and very polite car park attendant with the ticket machine.
The charges are £1. per car and £5. per coach.

On Monday 1 June, he did not turn up for work.
Bristol Zoo management phoned Bristol City Council to ask them to send a replacement parking attendant.
The Council said "That car park is your responsibility."
The Zoo said "The attendant was employed by the City Council... wasn't he?"
The Council said "What attendant?"

Gone missing from his home is a man who has been taking daily the car park fees amounting to about £400. per day for the last 23 years...!
Total sum 2.9 million!!!"

[ contributed by ETH Huang ]

Lack of Vision

2009-07-15T03:32:00.001+08:00

Lack of Vision

70-year-old George went for his annual physical.
He told the doctor that he felt fine, but often had to go to the bathroom during the night.

Then he said,
"But you know Doc, I'm blessed.
God knows my eyesight is going, so he puts on the light when I pee,
and turns it off when I'm done!"
A little later in the day,
Dr. Smith called George's wife and said,
"Your husband's test results were fine,
but he said something strange that has been bugging me.
He claims that God turns the light on and off for him when uses the bathroom at night."

Thelma exclaimed, "That old fool! He's been peeing in the refrigerator again!"

Really TOUGH QUESTIONS. ( V Interesting ! )

2009-07-11T10:34:00.002+08:00

Tough Questions

Question 1:
If you knew a woman who was pregnant, who had 8 kids already, three who were deaf, two who were blind, one mentally retarded, and she had syphilis, would you recommend that she have an abortion?
Read the next question before looking at the response for this one.

Question 2:
It is time to elect a new world leader, and only your vote counts.
Here are the facts about the three candidates.
Who would you vote for?

Candidate A.
Associates with crooked politicians, and consults with Astrologist. He's had two mistresses. He also chain smokes and drinks 8 to 10 martinis a day.

Candidate B.
He was kicked out of office twice, sleeps until noon , used opium in college and drinks a quart of whiskey every evening.

Candidate C
He is a decorated war hero. He's a vegetari an, doesn't smoke, drinks an occasional beer and never cheated on his wife.

Which of these candidates would be our choice?
Decide first... no peeking, then scroll down for the response.

Candidate A is Franklin D. Roosevelt.
Candidate B is Winston Churchill.
Candidate C is Adolph Hitler.

And, by the way, on your answer to the abortion question:
If you said YES, you just killed Beethoven.
Pretty interesting isn't it?
Makes a person think before judging someone.
Wait till you see the end of this note!
Keep reading..
Never be afraid to try something new.

Remember:
Amateurs...built the ark.. Professional s ...built the Titanic

And Finally, can you imagine working for a company that has a little more than 500 employees and has the following statistics:
* 29 have been accused of spousal abuse
* 7 have been arrested for fraud
* 19 have been accused of writing bad checks
* 117 have directly or indirectly bankrupted at least 2 businesses
* 3 have done time for assault
* 71 cannot get a credit card due to bad credit
* 14 have been arrested on drug-related charges
* 8 have been arrested for shoplifting
* 21 are currently defendants in lawsuits
* 84 have been arrested for drunk driving in the last year...
Can you guess which organization this is?
Give up yet?

It's the 535 members of the United States Congress.

The same group that crank out hundreds of new laws each year designed to keep the rest of America in line .
You gotta pass this on....2 TOUGH QUESTIONS

Why are you receiving forwarded jokes ?

2009-06-27T23:56:00.002+08:00

A man and his dog were walking along a road.
The man was enjoying the scenery, when it suddenly occurred to him that he was dead.
He remembered dying, and that the dog walking beside him had been dead for years..
He wondered where the road was leading them.
After a while, they came to a high, white stone wall along one side of the road.
It looked like fine marble.

At the top of a long hill, it was broken by a tall arch that glowed in the sunlight.
When he was standing before it he saw a magnificent gate in the arch that looked like 20 Mother-of-Pearl Ave, and the street that led to the gate looked like pure gold.
He and the dog walked toward the gate, and as he got closer, he saw a man at a desk to one side.
When he was close enough, he called out, 'Excuse me, where are we?'
'This is Heaven, sir,' the man answered.
'Wow! Would you happen to have some water?' the man asked.
'Of course, sir. Come right in, and I'll have some ice water brought right up.'
The man gestured, and the gate began to open.
'Can my friend,' gesturing toward his dog, 'come in, too?' the traveler asked.
'I'm sorry; sir, but we don't accept pets.'
The man thought a moment and then turned back toward the road and continued the way he had been going with his dog.
After another long walk, and at the top of another long hill, he came to a dirt road leading through a farm gate that looked as if it had never been closed.
There was no fence.
As he approached the gate, he saw a man inside, leaning against a tree and reading a book. 'Excuse me!' he called to the man. 'Do you have any water?'
'Yeah, sure, there's a pump over there, come on in.'
'How about my friend here?' the traveler gestured to the dog.
'There should be a bowl by the pump.'
They went through the gate, and sure enough, there was an old-fashioned hand pump with a bowl beside it.
The traveler filled the water bowl and took a long drink himself, and then he gave some to the dog.
When they were full, he and the dog walked back toward the man who was standing by the tree.
'What do you call this place?' the traveler asked.
'This is Heaven,' he answered.
'Well, that's confusing,' the traveler said. 'The man down the road said that was Heaven, too.' 'Oh, you mean the place with the gold street and pearly gates?
Nope. That's hell.'
'Doesn't it make you mad for them to use your name like that?'
'No, we're just happy that they screen out the folks who would leave their best friends behind.' Soooo.... Sometimes, we wonder why friends keep forwarding jokes to us without writing a word.

Maybe this will explain.
When you are very busy, but still want to keep in touch, guess what you do?
You forward jokes.
When you have nothing to say, but still want to keep contact, you forward jokes.
When you have something to say, but don't know what, and don't know how, you forward jokes. Also to let you know that you are still remembered, you are still important, guess what you get? A forwarded joke.
So, next time if you get a joke, don't think that you've been sent just another forwarded joke, but that you've been thought of today and your friend on the other end of your computer wanted to send you a smile.
You are all welcome @ my water bowl anytime.......... but at any time, if you do not wish to receive such mails, just reply with " STOP" and I'll take the cue from there.
I'll appreciate it. Thanks and have a nice day.

[ Contributed by Ronnie A.B.Lim ]

God help those who help themselves!

2009-06-20T22:57:00.004+08:00

There was a flood in a village.
One man said to everyone, "I'll stay! God will save me!"

The flood got higher and a boat came and the man in it said, "Come on mate, get in!"
"No" replied the man. God will save me!

The flood got very high now and the man had to stand on the roof of his house.
A helicopter soon came and the man offered him help.
No, God will save me!" he said.

Eventually he died by drowning.

He got by the gates of heaven and he said to God,
"Why didn't you save me?"

God replied,
"For goodness sake! I sent a boat and a helicopter. What more do you want!"

[ Contributed by Rosalind Pang ]

Real Signs that make you LAUGH!

2009-06-14T02:58:00.005+08:00

[ Contributed by my good friend Ronnie Lim ]

Black Humour !

2009-05-26T00:10:00.002+08:00

What did the gangster's son tell his dad when he failed his examination?
'Dad, they questioned me for 3 hours,
but I never told them anything!!'

What's the difference between people who pray in church and those who pray in casinos?
The ones in the casinos are serious.

When I was young I used to pray for a bike,
then I realized that God doesn't work that way,
so I stole a bike and prayed for forgiveness.

A little boy went up to his father and asked :
'Dad, where did all of my intelligence come from?'
His father replied : 'Well, son, you must have gotten it from your mother,
because I still have mine.'

Jimmy's teacher sent a note home to his mother, saying :
'Jimmy seems to be a very bright boy,
but spends too much of his time thinking about girls.'
The mother wrote back the next day :
'If you find a solution, please advise.
I have the same problem with his father!'

April Fools Day is for atheists !

2009-05-18T18:25:00.003+08:00

FLORIDA COURT SETS ATHEIST HOLY DAY

In Florida , an atheist created a case against the upcoming Easter and Passover holy days. He hired an attorney to bring a discrimination case against Christians, Jews and observances of their holy days.
The argument was that it was unfair that atheists had no such recognized days.
The case was brought before a judge.
After listening to the passionate presentation by the lawyer, the judge banged his gavel declaring,"Case dismissed!"

The lawyer immediately stood objecting to the ruling saying, "Your honor, how can you possibly dismiss this case? The Christians have Christmas, Easter and others. The Jews have Passover, Yom Kippur and Hanukkah, yet my client and all other atheists have no such holidays."

The judge leaned forward in his chair saying, "But you do. Your client, counsel, is woefully ignorant."
The lawyer said, "Your Honor, we are unaware of any special observance or holiday for atheists." The judge said, "The calendar says April 1st is April Fools Day.
Psalm 14:1 states, 'The fool says in his heart, there is no God.'
Thus, it is the opinion of this court, that if your client says there is no God, then he is a fool. Therefore, April 1st is his day. Court is adjourned."

You gotta love a Judge that knows his scripture!
This is too good not to forward.

A Malaysian Story

2009-05-17T01:04:00.004+08:00

A Malaysian Story
An old kampung imam had a teenage son, and it was getting time the boy should give some thought to choosing a profession.
Like many young men his age, the boy didn't really know what he wanted to do, and he didn't seem too concerned about it.
One day, while the boy was away at school, his father decided to try an experiment.
He went into the boy's room and placed on his study table four objects.

1. The Holy Qoran.
2. A fifty ringgit note.
3. A bottle of whiskey.
4. And a Playboy magazine.

'I'll just hide behind the door," the old imam said to himself.
"When he comes home from school today, I'll see which object he picks up."

"If it's the holy book, he's going to be an imam like me, and what a blessing that would be!"
"If he picks up the fifty ringgit note, he's going to be a business man, and that would be okay, too."
"But if he picks up the bottle, he's going to be a no-good drunken bum, and God, what a shame that would be."
"And worst of all if he picks up that magazine he's going to be a skirt-chasing womanizer."

The old man waited anxiously, and soon heard his son's foot-steps as he entered the house whistling and heading for his room..

The boy tossed his books on the bed, and as he turned to leave the room he spotted the objects on the table.
With curiosity in his eye, he walked over to inspect them.

Finally, he picked up the Holy Book and placed it under his arm.
He picked up the fifty ringgit note and dropped into his pocket.
He uncorked the bottle and took a big drink, while he admired the magazine.

"God have mercy," the old imam disgustedly whispered. "He's going to be an Umno Politician!!"

[ Contributed by TF Chan ]

Swine Flu ( flew) !

2009-05-11T01:59:00.001+08:00

A 100 years ago,
they said that when a black man became president,
pigs would fly.

And on the 100th day of Barack Obama's presidency,
Swine Flew.

[ Contributed by Patricl F ]

Ancient Cave Writings...DaVinci Code.

2009-05-05T21:43:00.009+08:00

Ancient cave writings
DAVINCI CODE

Written across the wall of the cave were the following symbols:

It was considered a unique find and the writings were said to be at least three thousand years old!
The piece of stone was removed, brought to the museum, and archaeologists from around the world came to study the ancient symbols. They held a huge meeting after months of conferences to discuss the meaning of the markings.

The President of the society pointed to first drawing and said:

"This is a woman. We can see these people held women in high esteem. You can also tell they were intelligent, as the next symbol is a donkey, So they were smart enough to have animals help them till the soil. The next drawing is a shovel, which means they had tools to help them."
Even further proof of their high intelligence is the fish which means that if a famine hit the earth and food didn't grow, they seek food from the sea.

The last symbol appears to be the Star of David which means they were evidently Hebrews.

The audience applauded enthusiastically.

Then a little old Jewish man stood up in the back of the room and said,

"Idiots, Hebrew is read from right to left....... "

"It says: 'Holy Mackerel, Dig The Ass On That Chick ."

[ Contributor Tng K G ]

$ 100 Humour

2009-05-03T00:42:00.004+08:00

A little boy wanted $100.00 very badly and prayed for weeks, but nothing happened . Then he decided to write God a letter requesting the $100.00.
When the postal authorities received the letter to God, they decided to send it to the President of USA.
The president was so amused that he instructed his secretary to send the little boy a $5.00 bill.
The president thought this would appear to be a lot of money to a little boy.
The little boy was delighted with the $5.00 bill and sat down to write a thank-you note to God, which read:
"Dear God: Thank you very much for sending the money.
However, I noticed that for some reason you sent it through Washington D.C ,USA and those idiots took $95.00 in taxes."

[ Contributor: HC Chue ]

TAXI

2009-04-29T21:40:00.003+08:00

TAXI
I arrived at the address where someone had requested a taxi. I honked but no one came out. I honked again, nothing. So I walked to the door and knocked. 'Just a minute', answered a frail, elderly voice. I could hear something being dragged across the floor.
After a long pause, the door opened. A small woman in her 90's stood before me. She was wearing a print dress and a pillbox hat with a veil pinned on it, like somebody out of a 1940s movie.
By her side was a small nylon suitcase. The apartment looked as if no one had lived in it for years.. All the furniture was covered with sheets..
There were no clocks on the walls, no knickknacks or utensils on the counters. In the corner was a cardboard box filled with photos and glassware.
'Would you carry my bag out to the car?' she said. I took the suitcase to the cab, and then returned to assist the woman.
She took my arm and we walked slowly toward the curb.
She kept thanking me for my kindness. 'It's nothing', I told her. 'I just try to treat my passengers the way I would want my mother treated'..'Oh, you're such a good boy', she said. When we got in the cab, she gave me an address, and then asked, 'Could you drive through downtown?'
'It's not the shortest way,' I answered quickly.'Oh, I don't mind,' she said. 'I'm in no hurry. I'm on my way to a hospice'.
I looked in the rear-view mirror. Her eyes were glistening. 'I don't have any family left,' she continued. 'The doctor says I don't have very long.' I quietly reached over and shut off the meter.
'What route would you like me to take?' I asked.
For the next two hours, we drove through the city. She showed me the building where she had once worked as an elevator operator.
We drove through the neighborhood where she and her husband had lived when they were newlyweds. She had me pull up in front of a furniture warehouse that had once been a ballroom where she had gone dancing as a girl.
Sometimes she'd ask me to slow in front of a particular building or corner and would sit staring into the darkness, saying nothing.
As the first hint of sun was creasing the horizon, she suddenly said, 'I'm tired. Let's go now'
We drove in silence to the address she had given me. It was a low building, like a small convalescent home, with a driveway that passed under a portico.
Two orderlies came out to the cab as soon as we pulled up. They were solicitous and intent, watching her every move. They must have been expecting her.
I opened the trunk and took the small suitcase to the door. The woman was already seated in a wheelchair.
'How much do I owe you?' she asked, reaching into her purse.'Nothing,' I said
'You have to make a living,' she answered.
'There are other passengers,' I responded.
Almost without thinking, I bent and gave her a hug. She held onto me tightly.
'You gave an old woman a little moment of joy,' she said.
'Thank you.'
I squeezed her hand, and then walked into the dim morning light. Behind me, a door shut. It was the sound of the closing of a life.I didn't pick up any more passengers that shift. I drove aimlessly lost in thought. For the rest of that day, I could hardly talk. What if that woman had gotten an angry driver, or one who was impatient to end his shift?What if I had refused to take the run, or had honked once, then driven away?
On a quick review, I don't think that I have done anything more important in my life.
We're conditioned to think that our lives revolve around great moments.
But great moments often catch us unaware-beautifully wrapped in what others may consider a small one.
PEOPLE MAY NOT REMEMBER EXACTLY WHAT YOU DID, OR WHAT YOU SAID, BUT THEY WILL ALWAYS REMEMBER HOW YOU MADE THEM FEEL.
Life may not be the party we hoped for, but while we are here we might as well dance.

[ Contributed by TF Chan ]

Children's Science Exam

2009-04-21T21:01:00.003+08:00

Children's Science Exam
If you need a good laugh, try reading through these children's science exam answers...

Q: Name the four seasons.
A: Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.

Q: Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink.
A: Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists.

Q: How is dew formed?
A: The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.

Q: How can you delay milk turning sour? (Brilliant, love this!)
A: Keep it in the cow.

Q: What causes the tides in the oceans?
A: The tides are a fight between the Earth and the Moon.
All water tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature hates a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in this fight.

Q: What are steroids?
A: Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs.

Q: What happens to your body as you age?
A: When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental.

Q: What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty?
A: He says good-bye to his boyhood and starts adultery.
(The kid gets an A+ for this answer!)

Q: Name a major disease associated with cigarettes.
A: Premature death.

Q: How are the main parts of the body categorized? ( e.g., abdomen)
A: The body is consisted into three parts -- the brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain; the borax contains the heart and lungs, and the abdominal cavity contains the bowels A, E, I, O, and U.

Q: What is the fibula?
A: A small lie.

Q: What does 'varicose' mean? (I do love this one...)
A: Nearby.

Q: Give the meaning of the term 'Caesarian Section.'
A: The Caesarian Section is a district in Rome.

Q: What does the word 'benign' mean?'
A: Benign is what you will be after you be eight.

[ Contibuted by Patrick F ]

A Child's Prediction

2009-04-18T20:02:00.004+08:00

Subject: A Child's Prediction – yes, but whose child is it now?

A father put his 3 year old daughter to bed, told her a story and listened to her prayers which ended by saying: 'God bless Mommy, God bless Daddy,God bless Grandma and goodbye Grandpa.'
The father asked, 'Why did you say goodbye Grandpa?'
The little girl said, 'I don't know daddy, it just seemed like the thing to do.'

The next day grandpa died. The father thought it was a strange coincidence.
A few months later the father put the girl to bed and listened to her prayers which went like this: 'God bless Mommy, God Bless Daddy and goodbye Grandma.'
The next day the grandmother died.

' Good Grief !' thought the father, this kid is in contact with the other side .
Several weeks later when the girl was going to bed, the dad heard her say:
'God bless Mommy and goodbye Daddy.'
He practically went into shock.

He couldn't sleep all night and got up at the crack of dawn to go to his office.
He was nervous as a cat all day, had lunch and watched the clock.
He figured if he could get by until midnight he would be okay.
He felt safe in the office, so instead of going home at the end of the day he stayed there, drinking coffee, looking at his watch and jumping at every sound.
Finally, midnight arrived, he breathed a sigh of relief and went home.

When he got home his wife said 'I've never seen you work so late, what's the matter?'
He said 'I don't want to talk about it, I've just spent the worst day of my life.'
She said, 'You think you had a bad day, you'll never believe what happened to me.

This morning my golf pro dropped dead in the middle of my lesson!

Malaysian Politics

2009-04-16T05:12:00.004+08:00

Malaysian politics
When Dr. Mahathir was Prime Minister of Malaysia.

One lousy day in the middle of the economic crisis, PM Mahathir was feeling extremely frustrated and wondering how a neighboring country can be doing better than Malaysia .
One of his aides said, I heard that the leaders consult Feng Shui masters to ensure prosperity for the country.
Dr Mahathir thought if that was the case, Malaysia Bomoh also can, and went to seek the top bomoh's advice in the country.
After reviewing the case, the bomoh told Dr M that there were 2 things that he must do.

Bomoh: Step 1. You must blame the crisis on SOROS for everything.
Dr M: But Why?
Bomoh: Because SOROS stands for Speculate on Ringgit Or Stocks'.
You must blame him, and look at ways to control the ringgit and stock market.
Bomoh: Step 2. You must get rid of ANWAR.
Dr M: What! why him?
Bomoh: Because ANWAR stands for 'A Nation Without Any Ringgit'.
Dr M: But how? This is most difficult to do, he is popular with the people.
Bomoh: Aiyoh, You bodoh lah! Look at your name MAHATHIR.
Make Anwar Homosexual And Then Highlight It Repeatedly.

This one lagi best.
The latest according to the trend.
Subject: M.A.H.A.T.H.I.R
This is a new acronym... stands for: Must Always Hantam Abdullah Till He Is Removed.

So looks like everything has panned out accordingly!

The Pickle Jar

2009-04-10T23:50:00.003+08:00

The Pickle Jar

The pickle jar, as far back as I can remember sat on the floor beside the dresser in my parents' bedroom. When he got ready for bed, Dad would empty his pockets and toss his coins into the jar. As a small boy I was always fascinated at the sounds the coins made as they were dropped into the jar. They landed with a merry jingle when the jar was almost empty.
Then the tones gradually muted to a dull thud as the jar was filled.
I used to squat on the floor in front of the jar and admire the copper and silver circles that glinted like a pirate's treasure when the sun poured through the bedroom window.
When the jar was filled, Dad would sit at the kitchen table and roll the coins before taking them to the bank.

Taking the coins to the bank was always a big production.
Stacked neatly in a small cardboard box, the coins were placed between Dad and me on the seat of his old truck.
Each and every time, as we drove to the bank, Dad would look at me hopefully.
'Those coins are going to keep you out of the textile mill, son. You're going to do better than me. This old mill town's not going to hold you back.'
Also, each and every time, as he slid the box of rolled coins across the counter at the bank toward the cashier, he would grin proudly.
'These are for my son's college fund. He'll never work at the mill all his life like me.'
We would always celebrate each deposit by stopping for an ice cream cone.
I always got chocolate.
Dad always got vanilla.
When the clerk at the ice cream parlor handed Dad his change, he would show me the few coins nestled in his palm.
'When we get home, we'll start filling the jar again.'
He always let me drop the first coins into the empty jar.
As they rattled around with a brief, happy jingle, we grinned at each other.
'You'll get to college on pennies, nickels, dimes and quarters,' he said.
'But you'll get there; I'll see to that.'

No matter how rough things got at home, Dad continued to doggedly drop his coins into the jar. Even the summer when Dad got laid off from the mill and Mama had to serve dried beans several times a week, not a single dime was taken from the jar.
To the contrary, as Dad looked across the table at me, pouring catsup over my beans to make them more palatable, he became more determined than ever to make a way out for me.
'When you finish college, Son,' he told me, his eyes glistening, 'You'll never have to eat beans again - unless you want to..'

The years passed, and I finished college and took a job in another town.
Once, while visiting my parents, I used the phone in their bedroom, and noticed that the pickle jar was gone..
It had served its purpose and had been removed.
A lump rose in my throat as I stared at the spot beside the dresser where the jar had always stood.
My dad was a man of few words, and never lectured me on the values of determination, perseverance, and faith.
The pickle jar had taught me all these virtues far more eloquently than the most flowery of words could have done.
When I married, I told my wife Susan about the significant part the lowly pickle jar had played in my life as a boy.
In my mind, it defined, more than anything else, how much my dad had loved me.

The first Christmas after our daughter Jessica was born, we spent the holiday with my parents. After dinner, Mom and Dad sat next to each other on the sofa,taking turns cuddling their first grandchild.
Jessica began to whimper softly, and Susan took her from Dad's arms.
'She probably needs to be changed,' she said, carrying the baby into my parents' bedroom to diaper her..
When Susan came back into the living room, there was a strange mist in her eyes.
She handed Jessica back to Dad before taking my hand and leading me into the room.
'Look,' she said softly, her eyes directing me to a spot on the floor beside the dresser.
To my amazement, there, as if it had never been removed, stood the old pickle jar, the bottom already covered with coins.
I walked over to the pickle jar, dug down into my pocket, and pulled out a fistful of coins.
With a gamut of emotions choking me, I dropped the coins into the jar.
I looked up and saw that Dad, carrying Jessica, had slipped quietly into the room.
Our eyes locked, and I knew he was feeling the same emotions I felt.
Neither one of us could speak. This truly touched my heart. I know it has yours as well.

Sometimes we are so busy adding up our troubles that we forget to count our blessings.
Never underestimate the power of your actions.
With one small gesture you can change a person's life, for better or for worse.
God puts us all in each other's lives to impact one another in some way.
Look for Good in others.
The best and most beautiful things cannot be seen or touched - they must be felt with the heart ~ Helen Keller -
Happy moments, praise God
Difficult moments, seek God
Quiet moments, worship God
Painful moments, trust God
Every moment, thank God.

[ Contributor...F Yen , thanks ! ]

The Seed !

2009-04-06T05:30:00.008+08:00

The Seed

A successful business man was growing old and knew it was time to choose a successor to take over the business.

Instead of choosing one of his Directors or his children,
he decided to do something different.
He called all the young executives in his company together.

He said, "It is time for me to step down and choose the next CEO.
I have decided to choose one of you."
The young executives were shocked, but the boss continued.

"I am going to give each one of you a SEED today - one very special SEED.
I want you to plant the seed, water it, and come back here one year from today with what you have grown from the seed I have given you. I will then judge the plants that you bring, and the one I choose will be the next CEO."

One man, named Jim, was there that day and he, like the others,received a seed.

He went home and excitedly, told his wife the story. She helped him get a pot, soil and compost and he planted the seed. Everyday, he would water it and watch to see if it had grown.
After about three weeks, some of the other executives began to talk about their seeds and the plants that were beginning to grow.
Jim kept checking his seed, but nothing ever grew.

Three weeks, four weeks, five weeks went by, still nothing.
By now, others were talking about their plants, but Jim didn't have a plant and he felt like a failure.

Six months went by -- still nothing in Jim's pot. He just knew he had killed his seed.
Everyone else had trees and tall plants, but he had nothing. Jim didn't say anything to his colleagues, however.
He just kept watering and fertilizing the soil - He so wanted the seed to grow.

A year finally went by and all the young executives of the company brought their plants to the CEO for inspection.

Jim told his wife that he wasn't going to take an empty pot.
But she asked him to be honest about what happened.
Jim felt sick to his stomach, it was going to be the most embarrassing moment of his life, but he knew his wife was right.
He took his empty pot to the board room.

When Jim arrived, he was amazed at the variety of plants grown by the other executives.
They were beautiful -- in all shapes and sizes. Jim put his empty pot on the floor and many of his colleagues laughed, a few felt sorry for him!

When the CEO arrived, he surveyed the room and greeted his young executives.
Jim just tried to hide in the back.
"My, what great plants, trees,and flowers you have grown," said the CEO.
"Today one of you will be appointed the next CEO!"

All of a sudden, the CEO spotted Jim at the back of the room with his empty pot.
He ordered the Financial Director to bring him to the front.
Jim was terrified. He thought, "The CEO knows I'm a failure! Maybe he will have me fired!"

When Jim got to the front, the CEO asked him what had happened to his seed - Jim told him the story.
The CEO asked everyone to sit down except Jim.
He looked at Jim, and then announced to the young executives,
"Behold your next Chief Executive Officer!
His name is Jim!"

Jim couldn't believe it. Jim couldn't even grow his seed.
"How could he be the new CEO?" the others said.

Then the CEO said,
"One year ago today, I gave everyone in this room a seed.
I told you to take the seed, plant it, water it,and bring it back to me today.
But I gave you all boiled seeds; they were dead - it was not possible for them to grow.
All of you, except Jim, have brought me trees and plants and flowers.
When you found that the seed would not grow, you substituted another seed for the one I gave you.
Jim was the only one with the courage and honesty to bring me a pot with my seed in it. Therefore, he is the one who will be the new Chief Executive Officer!"

* If you plant honesty, you will reap trust
* If you plant goodness, you will reap friends
* If you plant humility, you will reap greatness
* If you plant perseverance, you will reap contentment
* If you plant consideration, you will reap perspective
* If you plant hard work, you will reap success
* If you plant forgiveness, you will reap reconciliation
* If you plant faith, you will reap a harvest
So, be careful what you plant now; it will determine what you will reap later.

"Whatever You Give To Life, Life Gives You Back"

.......................ooOoo........................
[ Contributed by Patrick F....thanks! ]

Always LISTEN carefully before ACTING!

2009-04-02T15:39:00.004+08:00

[ Contributed by Magicman ....thanks! ]

People with Poor Memory better not tell Jokes!

2009-03-31T18:38:00.004+08:00

A lesson to be learnt !!
A special warning to older folks eh?

A popular motivational speaker was entertaining his audience.
He said: "The best years of my life were spent in the arms of a woman who wasn't my wife !"

The audience was in silence and shock.
The speaker added: "And that woman was my mother!"
Laughter and applause.

A week later, a top manager trained by the motivational speaker tried to crack this very effective joke at home.
He was a bit foggy after a drink.
He said loudly to his wife who was preparing dinner,
"The greatest years of my life were spent in the arms of a woman who was not my wife !"

The wife went "ah!" with shock and rage.
Standing there for 20 seconds trying to recall the second half of the joke, the manager finally blurted out "... and I can't remember who she was!"

By the time the manager regained his consciousness, he was on a hospital bed nursing burns from boiling water.

Moral of the story: Don't copy if you can't remember!

[ Contributed by William Teo...thanks! ]

Good WARNING to all MEN !

2009-03-31T15:10:00.004+08:00

NINE WORDS & PHRASES WOMEN USE.... hmmm...women.

(1) Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

(2) Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

(3) Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.

(4) Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!

(5) Loud Sigh: This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to # 3 for the meaning of nothing.)

(6) That's Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

(7) Thanks: A woman is thanking you, do not question, or faint. Just say you're welcome. (I want to add in a clause here - This is true, unless she says 'Thanks a lot' - that is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say 'you're welcome' .. that will bring on a 'whatever').

(8) Whatever: Is a woman's way of saying F-- YOU!

(9) Don't worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking 'What's wrong?' For the woman's response refer to # 3.

* Send this to the men you know, to warn them about arguments they can avoid if they remember the terminology.

* Send this to all the women you know to give them a good laugh, cause they know it's true!!!

[ Contributed by Rosalind P....thanks, unk Dicko. ]

A 98 Year old woman writes to her bank.

2009-03-30T00:02:00.002+08:00

A SENIOR MOMENT - I HOPE I HAVE THEM LIKE THIS

Supposedly...............
A 98 year old woman in the UK wrote this to her bank.
The bank manager thought it amusing enough to have it published in the Times.

Dear Sir,
I am writing to thank you for bouncing my cheque with which I endeavoured to pay my plumber last month. By my calculations, three 'nanoseconds' must have elapsed between his presenting the cheque and the arrival in my account of the funds needed to honour it.
I refer, of course, to the automatic monthly deposit of my Pension, an arrangement, which, I admit, has been in place for only thirty eight years.
You are to be commended for seizing that brief window of opportunity, and also for debiting my account £30 by way of penalty for the inconvenience caused to your bank.

My thankfulness springs from the manner in which this incident has caused me to rethink my errant financial ways.
I noticed that whereas I personally attend to your telephone calls and letters, when I try to contact you,
I am confronted by the impersonal, overcharging, pre-recorded,
faceless entity which your bank has become.
From now on, I, like you, choose only to deal with a flesh-and-blood person.
My mortgage and loan payments will therefore and hereafter no longer be automatic,
but will arrive at your bank by cheque, addressed personally and confidentially to an employee at your bank whom you must nominate.
Be aware that it is an offence under the Postal Act for any other person to open such an envelope.
Please find attached an Application Contact Status which I require your chosen employee to complete. I am sorry it runs to eight pages, but in order that I know as much about him or her as your bank knows about me, there is no alternative.
Please note that all copies of his or her medical history must be countersigned by a Solicitor,
and the mandatory details of his/her financial situation (income, debts, assets and liabilities) must be accompanied by documented proof.

In due course, I will issue your employee with PIN number which he/she must quote in dealings with me.
I regret that it cannot be shorter than 28 digits but, again,
I have modelled it on the number of button presses required of me to access my account balance on your phone bank service.
As they say, imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.

Let me level the playing field even further.
When you call me, press buttons as follows:
1 - To make an appointment to see me.
2 - To query a missing payment.
3 - To transfer the call to my living room in case I am there.
4 - To transfer the call to my bedroom in case I am sleeping.
5 - To transfer the call to my toilet in case I am attending to nature.
6 - to transfer the call to my mobile phone if I am not at home.
7 - To leave a message on my computer (a password to access my computer is required.
A password will be communicated to you at a later date to the Authorized Contact.)
8 - To return to the main menu and to listen to options 1 through to 8.
9-To make a general complaint or inquiry,
the contact will then be put on hold,
pending the attention of my automated answering service.
While this may, on occasion, involve a lengthy wait,
uplifting music will play for the duration of the call.

Regrettably, but again following your example,
I must also levy an establishment fee to cover the setting up of this new arrangement.

May I wish you a happy, if ever so slightly less prosperous, New Year.
Your Humble Client
(Remember: This was written by a 98 year old woman; DOESN'T SHE MAKE YOU PROUD!) ***********************************************************************************

Can We Get Married In Heaven?

2009-03-26T01:21:00.002+08:00

Marriage in Heaven

On their way to get married, a young Catholic couple was involved in a fatal car accident.
The couple foundthemselves sitting outside the Pearly Gates waiting for St. Peter to process them into Heaven.
While waiting they began to wonder: Could they possibly get married in Heaven?

When St. Peter arrived they asked him if they could get married in heaven.
St. Peter said, "I don't know.
This is the first time anyone has asked. Let me go find out," and he left..
The couple sat and waited for an answer... for a couple of months.
While they waited, they discussed the pros and cons.
If they were allowed to get married in Heaven, should they get married, what with the eternal aspect of it all.
"What if it doesn't work? Are we stuck in Heaven together forever?"

Another month passed.
St. Peter finally returned, looking somewhat bedraggled.
"Yes," he informed the couple, "You can get married in Heaven."
"Great!" said the couple. "But we were just wondering;
what if things don't work out could we also get a divorce in Heaven?"
St. Peter, red-faced with anger, slammed his clipboard on the ground.
"What's wrong?" asked the frightened couple.
"OH, COME ON!!!" St. Peter shouted.
It took me 3 months to find a priest up here!
Do you have ANY idea how long it'll take to find a lawyer???"

The Stimulus Bill...in simple terms!

2009-03-25T02:26:00.003+08:00

The Stimulus Bill

Shortly after class, an economics student approaches his economics professor and says,
“I don’t understand this stimulus bill. Can you explain it to me?”
The professor replied,
“I don’t have any time to explain it at my office, but if you come over to my house on Saturday and help me with my weekend project, I’ll be glad to explain it to you.”
The student agreed.

At the agreed-upon time, the student showed up at the professor’s house.
The professor stated that the weekend project involved his backyard pool.
They both went out back to the pool, and the professor handed the student a bucket. Demonstrating with his own bucket, the professor said,
“First, go over to the deep end, and fill your bucket with as much water as you can.”
The student did as he was instructed.
The professor then continued,
“Follow me over to the shallow end, and then dump all the water from your bucket into it.”
The student was naturally confused, but did as he was told.
The professor then explained they were going to do this many more times, and began walking back to the deep end of the pool.

The confused student asked,
“Excuse me Prof, but why are we doing this?” The professor matter-of-factly stated that he was trying to make the shallow end much deeper.
The student didn’t think the economics professor was serious,
but figured that he would find out the real story soon enough.

However, after the 6th trip between the shallow end and the deep end,
the student began to become worried that his economics professor had gone mad.
The student finally replied, “All we’re doing is wasting valuable time and effort on unproductive pursuits. Even worse, when this process is all over , everything will be at the same level it was before, so all you’ll really have accomplished is the destruction of what could have been truly productive action!”

The professor put down his bucket and replied with a smile, “Congratulations. You now understand the stimulus bill."

7 Habits of Highly Effective Ah Bengs

2009-03-23T03:59:00.006+08:00

Steven Covey's famous 7 habits for successful people are nothing more than a free adaptation of very common Hokkien phrases ( surprised ? )

So why pay thousands of dollars to attend talks when your grand-parents, parents, spouses and even the auntie who sweeps the floor can give you the same kind of advice FOC, every day?

No 1: Be Pro-ActiveKin Ka Kin Chiew ( Fast leg, fast hand )

Habit No 2: Sharpen the SawToh Bua Lai Lai ( Make the knife sharp )

Habit No 3: Begin with the End In MindOoh Tao Ooh Buay ( Have head, have tail )

Habit No 4: First Things FirstChik Hung Chik Hung Lai - Ban Ban Lai( One thing at a time, slow and steady ); orCho Tow Seng ( Do first ; talk later )

Habit No 5: Think Win-WinLong Chong Ai Yarh ( Must win everything ) This is definitely not thinking win-win. This is a zero sum game. Win everything!

Habit No 6: Seek To Understand Rather Than To Be UnderstoodCho Lang Ai Eh Beng Pek ( You must be understanding )

Habit No 7: SynergizeTai Kay Ai Hup Chop ( All must cooperate )

Enjoy the Humour!

2009-03-16T03:38:00.005+08:00

3 Good Jokes!

2009-03-12T00:41:00.003+08:00

Chinese Adam & Eve:

If Adam and Eve were Chinese, we would still be in paradise because they would have ignored the apple and eaten the snake.

Three Feelings:

What's the difference between stress, tension and panic? Stress is when wife is pregnant, Tension is when girlfriend is pregnant, and Panic is when both are pregnant.

A tap on the driver
A passenger in a taxi tapped the driver on the shoulder to ask him something.. The driver screamed, lost control of the cab, nearly hit a bus, drove up over the curb and stopped just inches from a large plate glass window.. For a few moments everything was silent in the cab, then the driver said, "Please, don't ever do that again. You scared the daylights out of me." The passenger, who was also frightened, apologized and said he didn't realize that a tap on the shoulder could frighten him so much. To which the driver replied, "I'm sorry, it's really not your fault at all. Today is my first day driving a cab. I have been driving a hearse for the last 25 years."

Follow Beethoven...GO BANANAS !

2009-03-11T02:21:00.006+08:00

Going Bananas
The story is that Beethoven never missed his banana meals. And that is why one of his famous operas started out like this...BUN...NA...NA...NA...!!!

A professor at CCNY for a physiological psych class told his class about bananas.He said the expression "going bananas"is from the effects of bananas on the brain.Read on...

Never, put your banana in the refrigerator! !! This is interesting. After reading this, you'll never look at a banana in the same way again.

Bananas contain three natural sugars - sucrose, fructose and glucose combined with fiber. A banana gives an instant, sustained and substantial boost of energy.
Research has proven that just two bananas provide enough energy for a strenuous 90-minute workout. No wonder the banana is the number one fruit with the world's leading athletes..
But energy isn't the only way a banana can help us keep fit. It can also help overcome or prevent a substantial number of illnesses and conditions, making it a must to add to our daily diet.

Depression: According to a recent survey undertaken by MIND amongst people suffering from depression, many felt much better after eating a banana. This is because bananas contain tryptophan, a type of protein that the body converts into serotonin, known to make you relax, improve your mood and generally make you feel happier.

PMS: Forget the pills - eat a banana. The vitamin B6 it contains regulates blood glucose levels, which can affect your mood.
Anemia: High in iron, bananas can stimulate the production of hemoglobin in the blood and so helps in cases of anemia.
Blood Pressure: This unique tropical fruit is extremely high in potassium yet low in salt, making it perfect to beat blood pressure. So much so, the US Food and Drug Administration has just allowed the banana industry to make official claims for the fruit's ability to reduce the risk of blood pressure and stroke.

Brain Power: 200 students at a Twickenham (Middlesex) school were helped through their exams this year by eating bananas at breakfast, break, and lunch in a bid to boost their brain power. Research has shown that the potassium-packed fruit can assist learning by making pupils more alert.
Constipation: High in fiber, including bananas in the diet can help restore normal bowel action, helping to overcome the problem without resorting to laxatives.
Hangovers: One of the quickest ways of curing a hangover is to make a banana milkshake, sweetened with honey. The banana calms the stomach and, with the help of the honey, builds up depleted blood sugar levels, while the milk soothes and re-hydrates your system.
Heartburn: Bananas have a natural antacid effect in the body, so if you suffer from heartburn, try eating a banana for soothing relief.

Morning Sickness: Snacking on bananas between meals helps to keep blood sugar levels up and avoid morning sickness.
Mosquito bites: Before reaching for the insect bite cream, try rubbing the affected area with the inside of a banana skin. Many people find it amazingly successful at reducing swelling and irritation....
Nerves: Bananas are high in B vitamins that help calm the nervous system.
Overweight and at work? Studies at the Institute of Psychology in Austria found pressure at work leads to gorging on comfort food like chocolate and crisps. Looking at 5,000 hospital patients, researchers found the most obese were more likely to be in high-pressure jobs. The report concluded that, to avoid panic-induced food cravings, we need to control our blood sugar levels by snacking on high carbohydrate foods every two hours to keep levels steady.
Ulcers: The banana is used as the dietary food against intestinal disorders because of its soft texture and smoothness. It is the only raw fruit that can be eaten without distress in over-chronicler cases. It also neutralizes over-acidity and reduces irritation by coating the lining of the stomach.

Temperature control: Many other cultures see bananas as a "cooling" fruit that can lower both the physical and emotional temperature of expectant mothers. In Thailand , for example, pregnant women eat bananas to ensure their baby is born with a cool temperature.
Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD): Bananas can help SAD sufferers because they contain the natural mood enhancer tryptophan.
Smoking &Tobacco Use: Bananas can also help people trying to give up smoking. The B6, B12 they contain, as well as the potassium and magnesium found in them, help the body recover from the effects of nicotine withdrawal.

Stress: Potassium is a vital mineral, which helps normalize the heartbeat, sends oxygen to the brain and regulates your body's water balance. When we are stressed, our metabolic rate rises, thereby reducing our potassium levels. These can be rebalanced with the help of a high-potassium banana snack.
Strokes: According to research in The New England Journal of Medicine, eating bananas as part of a regular diet can cut the risk of death by strokes by as much as 40%!

Warts: Those keen on natural alternatives swear that if you want to kill off a wart, take a piece of banana skin and place it on the wart, with the yellow side out. Carefully hold the skin in place with a plaster or surgical tape!
So, a banana really is a natural remedy for many ills. When you compare it to an apple, it has four times the protein, twice the carbohydrate, three times the phosphorus, five times the vitamin A and iron, and twice the other vitamins and minerals. It is also rich in potassium and is one of the best value foods around So maybe its time to change that well-known phrase so that we say, "A banana a day keeps the doctor away!"

A smart alec vs an old man!

2009-03-11T02:09:00.001+08:00

NAILS !

2009-03-08T05:36:00.003+08:00

NAILS IN THE FENCE
Make sure you read all the way down to the last sentence.
(Most importantly the last sentence)

There once was a little boy who had a bad temper.
His Father gave him a bag of nails and told him that every time he lost his temper, he must hammer a nail into the back of the fence.
The first day the boy had driven 37 nails into the fence.
Over the next few weeks, as he learned to control his anger, the number of nails hammered daily gradually dwindled down.
He discovered it was easier to hold his temper than to drive those nails into the fence.
Finally the day came when the boy didn't lose his temper at all.
He told his father about it and the father suggested that the boy now pull out one nail for each day that he was able to hold his temper.

The days passed and the young boy was finally able to tell his father that all the nails were gone. The father took his son by the hand and led him to the fence
He said, ' You have done well, my son, but look at the holes in the fence.
The fence will never be the same.
When you say things in anger, they leave a scar just like this one.
You can put a knife in a man and draw it out.
But It won't matter how many times you say I'm sorry, the wound will still be there.
A verbal wound is as bad as a physical one.
Remember that friends are very rare jewels, indeed.
They make you smile and encourage you to succeed.
They lend an ear, they share words of praise and they always want to open their hearts to us.'

It's National Friendship Week.
Show your friends how much you care.
Send this to everyone
you consider a FRIEND, even if it means sending it back to the person who sent it to you! If it comes back to you, you will then know you have a circle of friends.
YOU ARE MY FRIEND AND I AM HONORED!
Now send this to every friend you have!!
And to your family(they need to know that you love them too).
Please forgive me if I have ever left a 'hole' in your fence

So to all my family, friends, students and readers out there....THIS IS FOR YOU!
unk Dicko

How to Live...from 55.

2009-03-04T21:18:00.003+08:00

Time is like a river.
You cannot touch the same water twice, because the flow has passed will never pass again.
Enjoy every moment of life..... for Those Over 55 Years Old.
For those who are already 55, start practising.
For those almost 55, get ready.
For those where 55 is a long way off, help your parents do it.

For Those Over 55 Years Old
1. Focus on enjoying people, not on indulging in or accumulating material things.

2. Plan to spend whatever you have saved. You deserve to enjoy it and the healthy years you have left. Travel if you can afford it. Don't leave anything for your children or loved ones to quarrel about. By leaving too much, you may even cause more trouble when you are gone.

3. Live in the here and now, not in the yesterdays and tomorrows. It is only today that you can handle. Yesterday is gone, tomorrow may not even happen.

4. Enjoy your grandchildren (if blessed with any) but don't be their full time baby sitter. You have no moral obligation to take care of them. Don't have any guilt about refusing to baby sit anyone's kids, including your own grandkids. Your parental obligation is to your children. After you have raised them into responsible adults, your duties of child-rearing and babysitting are finished. Let your children raise their own off-springs.

5. Accept physical weakness, sickness and other physical pains. It is a part of the ageing process. Enjoy whatever your health can allow.

6. Enjoy what you are and what you have right now. Stop working hard for what you do not have. If you don't have them, it's probably too late.

7. Enjoy your life with your spouse, children, grandchildren and friends. People, who truly love you, love you for yourself, not for what you have. Anyone who loves you for what you have will just give you misery. And you'd probably know that by now.

8. Forgive and accept forgiveness. Forgive yourself and others. Enjoy peace of mind and peace of soul.

9. Not trying to be morbid, but befriend death. It's a natural part of the life cycle. Don't be afraid of it. Death is the beginning of a new and better life. So, prepare yourself not for death but for a new life with the Almighty.

10. Be at peace with your Creator. For ..... He is all you have after you leave this sojourn on Earth.

Don't write of your Investments in CHINA...yet or at all !

2009-03-04T03:10:00.004+08:00

The very well written article below no doubt confirms my assertion in October 2008 that China would be the BIGGEST winner in this economic crisis.
How can we be so sure!
It’s simple logic.
It’s a numbers game!
China is the only country in the world that has these wonderful characteristics:

Largest foreign reserve – in excess of US$2 trillions; and
Largest population – 1.3 billions, 20% of world’s population & 5 times that of USA;
and Efficient system of government run by a team of good leaders.
I believe the initial shock faced by China resulting in closure of numerous factories and severe loss of jobs would be overcomed in the near future by the economic stimulants instigated by the Government through:
Increased internal consumption to replace reduction in export; and
Increase in the number, and speeding up, of projects.

So, what does this mean for China?
Power along economically at a faster pace and at a lower cost;
Ensuring a continual supply of essential raw materials and energy;
Building up its strategic reserves at a lower cost;
Strengthening its position in the world arena;
Continuing to build up its foreign reserve; and
Increasing its economic strength.

This means we will see an ultra modern China with the latest infrastructures throughout the country in the near future.
When this stage arrives, overall, no other country, including the US, Japan and Europe will be able to match it.
On the other hand, most Western countries are now going backwards economically, allowing China to close the economic gap at faster pace.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Chinese Leaders Jet-Setting The World on a Buying Spree While other world leaders are staying home plagued with solving their economic crisis.
The Chinese leaders Hu Jintao(President), Xi Jinping (Vice President and Wen Jiabao (Premier) were jet setting the world on a buying spree.
What does this mean?
Like top sales corporate executives sourcing out world products & markets, they are doing the same.
Though China's stimulus package is worth a whopping four trillion Yuan over two years, it has abundant cash reserves after years of double digit economic boom.
To say the least, China is in a better shape by far than any other economies & facing no worse than a slowing down in its economy.
Time is opportune for China to be buying resources at present low prices, renewing & establishing new contacts . . . making investments that will ensure further impetus to the Chinese power house.
Their recent buying spree includes . . .
A $19.5 billion investment in resource conglomerate Rio Tinto by Aluminum Corp of China, financed by the China Development Bank
China Petrochemical's $1.5 billion purchase of Canada's Tanganyika Oil operating in Syria.
A $25 billion loan to the Russian government in exchange for 290,000 barrels of oil per day for the next 25 years and a pipeline to China to carry the oil.
A deal with Venezuela for up to 1 million barrels of oil per day by 2015 in return for another $4 billion to top off an existing development fund.
A $1.7 billion bid by China Minmetals for OZ Minerals, an Australian zinc producer on the verge of bankruptcy.
All these, while assuring its supply chain, will contribute positively to further the growth of the Chinese economy.
Logic will tell you that you can't keep on spending money which you don't have & get deeper into debts.
But if you have $2 trillion cash reserves, then it's a wise move indeed.
Now you can see why China is booming while others are going under in this economic trough.
The tens of thousands of factories closing in China & the millions of Chinese out of work bear little numerical consequences in a country as huge as China.
Its economic gear is in place, bank lending is soaring, up an amazing 101% to the tune of $237 billion, with 35% of all lending in January going towards infrastructure projects including power grid, railways & nuclear plants.
Other economic scenario is also encouraging:
retail sales continue to explode higher, up a whopping 24.5%, from clothing sales to electronics & luxury items.
For January, Mercedes Benz saw sales of its S-Class models jump an impressive 26% in China.
China is led by a good team of leaders.
They are making sure their power house engine is matching up with the superb performance of the classed Mercedes engine.
Metaphorically speaking, the sun rises in the East & sets in the West.
It looks like China, despite all the doom & gloom, is climbing up in the right direction.

Important Advice about SPAM !

2009-03-02T04:18:00.005+08:00

GOOD ADVICE FROM SNOPES PLEASE READ.

By now, I suspect everyone is familiar with http://www.snopes.com/ and/or http://www.truthorfiction.com/ for determining whether information received via email is just that: true/false or fact/fiction. Both are excellent sites. I received the advice below from one of my correspondents today.

Advice from Snopes.com MEMORIZE THIS!
1) Any time you see an E-Mail that says forward this on to '10' of your friends, sign this petition, or you'll get bad luck, good luck, or whatever, it almost always has an E-Mail tracker program attached that tracks the cookies and E-Mails of those folks you forward to. The host sender is getting a copy each time it gets forwarded and then is able to get lists of 'active' E-Mails addresses to use in SPAM E-Mails, or sell to other spammers.

2) Almost all E-Mails that ask you to add your name and forward on to others are similar to that mass letter years ago that asked people to send business cards to the little kid in Florida who wanted to break the Guinness Book of Records for the most cards. All it was, and all any of this type of E-Mail is, is a way to get names and 'cookie' tracking information for telemarketers and spammers - - to validate active E-Mail accounts for their own profitable purposes.

You can do your friends and family members a GREAT favor by sending this information to them; you will be providing a service to your friends, and will be rewarded by not getting thousands of spam E-Mails in the future!
If you have been sending out (FORWARDING) the above kinds of E-Mail, now you know why you get so much SPAM!

Do yourself a favor and STOP adding your name(s) to those types of listings regardless how inviting they might sound!
You may think you are supporting a GREAT cause, but you are NOT in the long run.. Instead, you will be getting tons of junk mail later! Plus, we are helping the spammers get rich! Let's don't make it easy for them!

Also: E-Mail petitions are NOT acceptable to Congress or any other organization. To be acceptable, petitions must have a signed signature and full address of the person signing the petition.

Read the full story here: http://www.snopes.com/inboxer/petition/internet.asp

PS: Adding your name to a list of names on an e-mail you receive, doesn't work, because you add your name and send it to 10 people creates 10 more petitions!!!, and they just keep multiplying!! Delete them!!!

Do warn others about this !
Send this post to them.

unk Dicko
.