The LAWS of Ultimate Reality.

THE LAWS OF ULTIMATE REALITY

&Law of Mechanical Repair After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch and you'll have to pee.
& Law of Gravity Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible crevice furthest away from you.

& Law of Probability The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.
& Law of Random Numbers If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal and someone always answers.

& Law of the Alibi If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire while running late for work.
& Variation Law If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will always move faster than the one you are in now (works every time).

& Law of the Bath When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.
& Law of Close Encounters The probability of meeting someone you know increases dramatically when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.

& Law of the Result When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.
& Law of Biomechanics The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.

& Law of the Theatre At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last.
& The Starbucks Law As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.

& Murphy's Law of Lockers If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers. & Law of Physical Surfaces The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor covering are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet/rug.
& Law of Logical Argument Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.

& Brown's Law of Physical Appearance If the shoe fits, it's ugly.
& Oliver's Law of Public Speaking A closed mouth gathers no feet.


& Doctors' Law If you don't feel well, make an appointment to go to the doctor, by the time you get there you'll feel better. Don't make an appointment and you'll stay sick.

Unk Dicko's Observations:
Would any visitor care to share some of your own experiences ?
Funny thing about these "laws"...they are quite true!
Let me tell you about the Law of Close Encounters.
1st Case: Happened a long time ago. I was at the old Casuarina Point in the late 60's and was just taking a sunset stroll when I peered down towards the sea wall. And what did I see? No joke! A very senior member of my profession, someone I knew...with a young lady ( not his wife ...he was married with kids ) in a close embrace. Fortunately, for him..he did not see me. And I did not squeak a word!
2nd case: It was dinner time, and I was looking for food. Suddenly, I bumped into 2 persons I was familiar with. They ( A & B ) are married but not to each other...yet they were holding each others hand as a couple. They were shocked and truly embarassed and threw their hands apart!! No word was spoken between us there. I just smiled...they just WINCED!
I never said a thing to any of them even much later...considering it was none of my business.
3rd Case: Much like the 2nd one, except I only knew Him as a personal friend and his wife too. Yet, he was walking arm in arm with a much younger lady( I never saw before). He WAS VERY SHOCKED to have seen me...and tried quickly to take evasive action among the crowd. Haha!!! Really Ridiculous! How to erase what I have seen? We met again later with his wife...I never said a word or thing.
That's me...Unk Dicko. Never a Marriage breaker.