A Parrot joke

An old lady buys a pair of parrots, but cannot identify their sexes.

She spends weeks staring at the cage and, eventually, catches them doing what comes naturally.

To make sure she doesn't get them mixed up again, she puts a little white collar around the male parrot's neck.

Later, the local priest visits the old lady.

The male parrot takes one look at the father's collar and says,

"I see she caught you at it, too !"

This is not a joke !

You'll love this one. As my friend ETH said..a thumb up the nose for bureaucracy!
Just imagine, for 23 years and no one even made a check or communicated with each other
about the man's status, who employed him, who owns the carpark, where was the money collected deposited etc...! Unbelievable ?


Genuine article from Bristol Evening Post - 4th June 2009:-


"Outside Bristol Zoo is the car park, with spaces for 150 cars and 8 coaches.
It has been manned 6 days a week for 23 years by the same charming and very polite car park attendant with the ticket machine.
The charges are £1. per car and £5. per coach.

On Monday 1 June, he did not turn up for work.
Bristol Zoo management phoned Bristol City Council to ask them to send a replacement parking attendant.
The Council said "That car park is your responsibility."
The Zoo said "The attendant was employed by the City Council... wasn't he?"
The Council said "What attendant?"

Gone missing from his home is a man who has been taking daily the car park fees amounting to about £400. per day for the last 23 years...!
Total sum 2.9 million!!!"

[ contributed by ETH Huang ]

Lack of Vision

Lack of Vision


70-year-old George went for his annual physical.
He told the doctor that he felt fine, but often had to go to the bathroom during the night.

Then he said,
"But you know Doc, I'm blessed.
God knows my eyesight is going, so he puts on the light when I pee,
and turns it off when I'm done!"
A little later in the day,
Dr. Smith called George's wife and said,
"Your husband's test results were fine,
but he said something strange that has been bugging me.
He claims that God turns the light on and off for him when uses the bathroom at night."

Thelma exclaimed, "That old fool! He's been peeing in the refrigerator again!"

Really TOUGH QUESTIONS. ( V Interesting ! )

Tough Questions

Question 1:
If you knew a woman who was pregnant, who had 8 kids already, three who were deaf, two who were blind, one mentally retarded, and she had syphilis, would you recommend that she have an abortion?
Read the next question before looking at the response for this one.

Question 2:
It is time to elect a new world leader, and only your vote counts.
Here are the facts about the three candidates.
Who would you vote for?

Candidate A.
Associates with crooked politicians, and consults with Astrologist. He's had two mistresses. He also chain smokes and drinks 8 to 10 martinis a day.

Candidate B.
He was kicked out of office twice, sleeps until noon , used opium in college and drinks a quart of whiskey every evening.

Candidate C
He is a decorated war hero. He's a vegetari an, doesn't smoke, drinks an occasional beer and never cheated on his wife.

Which of these candidates would be our choice?
Decide first... no peeking, then scroll down for the response.

Candidate A is Franklin D. Roosevelt.
Candidate B is Winston Churchill.
Candidate C is Adolph Hitler.

And, by the way, on your answer to the abortion question:
If you said YES, you just killed Beethoven.
Pretty interesting isn't it?
Makes a person think before judging someone.
Wait till you see the end of this note!
Keep reading..
Never be afraid to try something new.

Remember:
Amateurs...built the ark.. Professional s ...built the Titanic

And Finally, can you imagine working for a company that has a little more than 500 employees and has the following statistics:
* 29 have been accused of spousal abuse
* 7 have been arrested for fraud
* 19 have been accused of writing bad checks
* 117 have directly or indirectly bankrupted at least 2 businesses
* 3 have done time for assault
* 71 cannot get a credit card due to bad credit
* 14 have been arrested on drug-related charges
* 8 have been arrested for shoplifting
* 21 are currently defendants in lawsuits
* 84 have been arrested for drunk driving in the last year...
Can you guess which organization this is?
Give up yet?

It's the 535 members of the United States Congress.

The same group that crank out hundreds of new laws each year designed to keep the rest of America in line .
You gotta pass this on....2 TOUGH QUESTIONS