An Atheist meeting GOD.

An atheist was walking through the woods.

'What majestic trees'!
'What powerful rivers'!
'What beautiful animals'! He said to himself.

As he was walking alongside the river, he heard a rustling in the bushes behind him.
He turned to look. He saw a 7-foot grizzly bear charge towards him.
He ran as fast as he could up the path.
He looked over his shoulder & saw that the bear was closing in on him.

He looked over his shoulder again, & the bear was even closer.
He tripped & fell on the ground.
He rolled over to pick himself up butsaw that the bear was right on top of him, reaching for him with his left paw & raising his right paw to strike him.

At that instant the Atheist cried out, 'Oh my God!'

Time Stopped.
The bear froze.
The forest was silent.

As a bright light shone upon the man, a voice came out of the sky.
'You deny my existence for all these years, teach others I don't exist and even credit creation to cosmic accident.' 'Do you expect me to help you out of this predicament? Am I to count you as a believer'?

The atheist looked directly into the light, 'It would be hypocritical of me to suddenly ask you to treat me as a Christian now, but perhaps you could make the BEAR a Christian'?

'Very Well,' said the voice.

The light went out.
The sounds of the forest resumed.
And the bear dropped his right paw, brought both paws together, bowed his head & spoke:
'Lord bless this food, which I am about to receive from thy bounty through Christ our Lord, Amen.'

Can I Borrow $25 ?

Can I Borrow $25?

A man came home from work late, tired and irritated, to find his 5-year old son waiting for him at the door.

SON: 'Daddy, may I ask you a question?'

DAD: 'Yeah sure, what it is?' replied the man

SON: 'Daddy, how much do you make an hour?

DAD: 'That's none of your business. Why do you ask such a thing?' the man said angrily.

SON: 'I just want to know. Please tell me, how much do you make an hour?'

DAD: 'If you must know, I make $50 an hour.'

SON: 'Oh,' the little boy replied, with his head down.

SON: 'Daddy, may I please borrow $25?'

The father was furious, 'If the only reason you asked that is so you can borrow some money to buy a silly toy or some other nonsense, then you march yourself straight to your room and go to bed. Think about why you are being so selfish. I don't work hard everyday for such childish frivolities.'

The little boy quietly went to his room and shut the door.

The man sat down and started to get even angrier about the little boy's questions. How dare he ask such questions only to get some money?

After about an hour or so, the man had calmed down , and started to think:
Maybe there was something he really needed to buy with that $25.00 and he really didn't ask for money very often The man went to the door of the little boy's room and opened the door.

'Are you asleep, son?' He asked.

'No daddy, I'm awake,' replied the boy.

'I've been thinking, maybe I was too hard on you earlier' said the man. 'It's been a long day and I took out my aggravation on you. Here's the $25 you asked for.'

The little boy sat straight up, smiling. 'Oh, thank you daddy!' he yelled. Then, reaching under his pillow he pulled out some crumpled up bills.

The man saw that the boy already had money, started to get angry again.

The little boy slowly counted out his money, and then looked up at his father.

'Why do you want more money if you already have some?' the father grumbled

'Because I didn't have enough, but now I do,' the little boy replied
.
'Daddy, I have $50 now. Can I buy an hour of your time? Please come home early tomorrow. I would like to have dinner with you.'

The father was crushed.
He put his arms around his little son, and he begged for his forgiveness.

This is just a short reminder to all of you working so hard in life
We should not let time slip through our fingers without having spent some time with those who really matter to us, those close to our hearts.
Do remember to share that $50 worth of your time with someone you love.

If we die tomorrow, the company that we are working for could easily replace us in a matter of hours. But the family & friends we leave behind will feel the loss for the rest of their lives.

The BATHTUB TEST

The Bathtub Test

During a visit to the mental asylum, a visitor asked the Director:
"How do you determine whether or not a patient should be institutionalized?"
"Well," said the Director,
"we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the patient and ask him or her to empty the bathtub."

"Oh, I understand," said the visitor.
"A normal person would use the bucket because it's bigger than the spoon or the teacup."



Wait for it.......



"No." said the Director,
"A normal person would pull the plug.
Do you want a bed near the window?"

ARE YOU GOING TO PASS THIS ON,
OR DO YOU WANT THE BED NEXT TO MINE ?

The SPOON

The Spoon
A timeless lesson on how Consultants can make a difference for an organization:

Last week, we took some friends out to a new restaurant, and noticed that the waiter who took our order carried a spoon in his shirt pocket.
It seemed a little strange.
When the busboy brought our water and utensils, I noticed he also had a spoon in his shirt pocket.
Then I looked around and saw that all the staff had spoons in their pockets.
When the waiter came back to serve our soup I asked, 'Why the spoon?'
'Well,' he explained, 'the restaurant's owners hired Andersen Consulting to revamp all our processes. After several months of analysis, they concluded that the spoon was the most frequently dropped utensil.
It represents a drop frequency of approximately 3 spoons per table per hour.
If our personnel are better prepared, we can reduce the number of trips back to the kitchen and save 15 man-hours per shift.'
As luck would have it, I dropped my spoon and he was able to replace it with his spare.
'I'll get another spoon next time I go to the kitchen instead of making an extra trip to get it right now.'
I was impressed.
I also noticed that there was a string hanging out of the waiter's fly.
Looking around, I noticed that all the waiters had the same string hanging from their flies.
So before he walked off,
I asked the waiter, 'Excuse me, but can you tell me why you have that string right there?'
'Oh, certainly!'
Then he lowered his voice.
'Not everyone is so observant.
That consulting firm I mentioned also found out that we could save time in the restroom.
By tying this string to the tip of our 'you know what',
we can pull it out without touching it and eliminate the need to wash our hands,
shortening the time spent in the restroom by 76.39 percent.'
'After you get it out, how do you put it back?'
'Well,' he whispered,
'I don't know about the others, but I use the spoon.'

BEST Picture of 2008 !

This photo was voted the BEST PICTURE of 2008.

Look at it anyway you like and from whatever angle,

I find it hard to disagree.

It's really one of those one in a million chance that the

photographer must have to capture such a poignant and incredible moment.

I get the feeling that the handsome hamster holding that unbelievable pink flower was trying his best to woo and impress that likely female hamster.....and saying,

" please take it quickly , take the flower....before the tiny

twiggy-branch breaks! "

Unk Dicko

Asking For Salary Increase!

One day, an employee sends a letter to Her boss
asking for an increase in her salary!!!



Dear Bo$$,

In thi$ life, we all need $ome thing mo$t de$perately.

I think you $hould be under$tanding of the need$ of u$ worker$ who have given $o much $upport including $weat and $ervice to your company.

I am $ure you will gue$$ what I mean and re$pond $oon. Your$ $incerely,

Norman $hah



The next day, the employee recieved this letter of reply:

Dear NOrman,

I kNOw you have been working very hard.

NOwadays, NOthing much has changed.

You must have NOticed that our company is NOt doing NOticeably well as yet.

NOw the newspaper are saying the world`s leading ecoNOmists are NOt sure if the United States may go into aNOther recession.

After the NOvember presidential elections things may turn bad. I have NOthing more to add NOw.

You kNOw what I mean.

Bullshit and Brilliance come with Age!

A wealthy old lady decides to go on a photo safari in Africa , taking her faithful aged poodle named Cuddles, along for the company.

He notices a young leopard, heading rapidly in his direction,
with the intention of having lunch.
The old poodle thinks, 'Oh, oh! I'm in deep doo-doo now!'

Noticing some bones on the ground close by,
he immediately settles down to chew on the bones with his back to the approaching cat.

Just as the leopard is about to leap the old poodle exclaims loudly,
'Boy, that was one delicious leopard! I wonder if there are any more around here?'

Hearing this, the young leopard halts his attack in mid-strike,
a look of terror comes over him and he slinks away into the trees.
'Whew!', says the leopard, 'That was close! That old poodle nearly had me!'

Meanwhile, a young monkey who had been watching the whole scene from a nearby tree,
figures he can put this knowledge to good use and trade it for protection from the leopard.
So off he goes, but the old poodle sees him heading after the leopard with great speed,
and figures that something must be up.


The monkey soon catches up with the leopard,
spills the beans and strikes a deal for himself with the leopard.
The young leopard is furious at being made a fool of and says,
'Here, monkey, hop on my back and see what's going to happen to that conniving canine!

Now, the old poodle sees the leopard coming with the monkey on his back and thinks,
"What am I going to do now?', but instead of running,
the dog sits down with his back to his attackers,
pretending he hasn't seen them yet,
and just when they get close enough to hear,

the old poodle says.....
'Where's that damn monkey? I sent him off an hour ago to bring me another leopard!


Moral of this story....


Don't mess with old farts...age and treachery will always overcome youth and skill! Bullshit and brilliance only come with age and experience.
If you don't send this to five 'old' friends right away there will be five fewer people laughing in the world.
I am in no way insinuating that any of you are old, some are just more youthfully challenged.

Did You NOTICE at all ?

Many years ago, I recall watching watching a very interesting programme on TV which dealt with "BLOOPERS" caught in the movie world. They showed several instances of such bloopers that went unedited even in the actual films released for screening in cinemas.

One that unk Dicko can recall clearly was from the blockbuster "SPARTACUS". It really surprised me back then when the footage was shown in slow motion. It appeared in the opening credits and ending as the film introduces the sets, names and details...in the background.
As the names slowly scroll downwards...in the background, near the horizon...a car can actually be seen driving through the winding countryside!!
How could that happen? Well, read on...it happens all the time!!

If you think that film Directors or News Directors must surely be 100%
accurate in their work... well, think again, especially after looking at these examples of Bloopers in filming or editing.

This ancient Tang Dynasty martial fighter can tell you the time by his....watch!


He is facing a life and death situation and where oh where is his trigger finger?

There were already aeroplanes flying in Achilles' time !

Wonder which airline that plane belongs to?

The cell phone was already in use in ancient time!

Most useful to call for reinforcement when surrounded by enemies.

ADDIDAS must be feeling very PROUD that well-known pirates of the infamous Pirate era were sporting their headgear!


The CLINCHER!

Can you tell us what you are seeing Mr President?

" Ah...erh..ah....!!! "

The MOTHER of CLINCHERS!

No comments needed!

Secret Behind the number 11

The Secret behind the number 11

Pretty Chilling - read to the bottom. Try it out. If you are a sceptical person - still read on as it's actually very interesting!! This is actually really freaky!!
(Mainly the end part, but read it all first)

1) New York City has 11 letters
2) Afghanistan has 11 letters.
3) Ramsin Yuseb has 11 letters. (The terrorist who threatened to destroy the Twin Towers in 1993)
4) George W Bush has 11 letters.

This could be a mere coincidence, but this gets interesting:
1) New York is the 11th state.
2) The first plane crashing against the Twin Towers was flight number 11.
3) Flight 11 was carrying 92 passengers. 9 + 2 = 11
4) Flight 77 which also hit Twin Towers , was carrying 65 passengers. 6 + 5 = 115)
The tragedy was on September 11, or 9/11 as it is now known. 9 + 1+ 1 =116)
The date is equal to the US emergency services telephone number 911.
Sheer coincidence..?

Read on and make up your own mind:
1) The total number of victims inside all the hi-jacked planes was 254. 2 + 5 + 4 = 11
2) September 11 is day number 254 of the calendar year.
3) The Madrid bombing took place on 3/11/2004. 3 + 1 + 1 + 2 + 4 = 11.
4) The tragedy of Madrid happened 911 days after the Twin Towers incident.

Now this is where things get totally eerie:
The most recognized symbol for the US , after the Stars & Stripes, is the Eagle.
The following verse is taken from the Koran, the Islamic holy book:
"For it is written that a son of Arabia would awaken a fearsome Eagle.
The wrath of the Eagle would be felt throughout the lands of Allah while some of the people trembled in despair still more rejoiced:
for the wrath of the Eagle cleansed the lands of Allah and there was peace."

That verse is number 9.11 of the Koran.
Unconvinced about all of this still ..?
Try this and see how you feel afterwards, it made my hair stand on end:
Open Microsoft Word and do the following:

1. Type in upper case Q33 NY.
This is the flight number of the first plane to hit one of the Twin Towers .
2. Highlight the Q33 NY.
3. Change the font size to 48.
4. Change the actual font to the WINGDINGS
……………………
What do you think now????

Send this to as many people as you know and in 11 minutes you will get a nice surprise,
if you don't you will get the shock of your life in 11 min. .

H R Skills !

A story for sharing....
One day while walking down the street a highly successful Human Resources Manager was tragically hit by a bus and died.
Her soul arrived up in Heaven where she was met at the Pearly Gates by St. Peter himself.
"Welcome," said St. Peter.
"Before you get settled in, though, it seems we have a problem.
You see, strangely enough, we've never once had a Human Resources Manager make it this far, and we're not really sure what to do with you."

"No worries, just let me in," said the woman.
"Well, I'd like to, but I have higher orders.
What we're going to do is let you have a day in Hell and a day in Heaven and then you can choose whichever one you want to spend an eternity in."

"Actually, I think I've made up my mind, I prefer to stay in Heaven", said the woman
"Sorry, we have rules..."
And with that St. Peter put the executive in a lift and it went
down-down-down to Hell.

The doors opened and she found herself stepping out onto the putting green of a beautiful golf course. In the distance was a country club and in front of her were all her fellow executive friends that she had worked with, and they were well dressed in evening gowns and cheering for her.
They ran up and kissed her on both cheeks and they talked about old times.
They played an excellent round of golf and at night went to the country club where she enjoyed a superb steak and lobster dinner.
She met the Devil who was actually a really nice guy (kind of cute) and she had a great time telling jokes and dancing.
She was having such a good time that before she knew it, it was time to leave.
Everybody shook her hand and waved good-bye as she got on the lift.
The lift went up-up-up and opened back up at the Pearly Gates and found St. Peter waiting for her.
"Now it's time to spend a day in heaven," he said.

So she spent the next 24 hours lounging around on clouds and playing the harp and singing. She had a great time and before she knew it her 24 hours were up and St. Peter came and got her.
"So, you've spent a day in Hell and you've spent a day in Heaven.
Now you must choose your eternity".
The woman paused for a second and then replied,
"Well! I never thought I would say this. I mean,
Heaven has been really great, but I had a better time in Hell."

So St. Peter escorted her to the lift and again she went down-down-down back to Hell. When the doors of the lift opened she found herself standing in a desolate wasteland covered in garbage and filth.
She saw that her friends were dressed in rags and picking up garbage and putting it in sacks.
The Devil came up to her and put his arm around her.
"I don't understand, yesterday I was here and there was a golf course and a country club and we ate lobster and we danced and had a great time.
Now all there is a waste and and all my friends look miserable."
The Devil looked at her and smiled.
"Yesterday we were recruiting you, today you're staff..."

The moral of this story:
Never believe what you see in the company or what they promised you.
It turns out to be shit always.

Daddy's car in the woods ?

Daddy's car in the woods?

Little Johnny watched his daddy's car pass by the school playground and gointo the woods.
Curious, he followed the car and saw Daddy and Aunt Jane in a passionate embrace.
Little Johnny found this so exciting that he could hardly contain himself as he ran home and started to tell his mother.

"Mommy, I was at theplayground and I saw Daddy's car go into the woods with Aunt Jane.
I went back to look and he was giving Aunt Jane a big kiss,
and then he helped her take off her shirt.
Then Aunt Jane helped Daddy take his pants off, thenAunt Jane..."

At this point Mommy cut him off and said, "Johnny, this is such an interesting story,
suppose you save the rest of it for supper time!
I want to see the look on Daddy's face when you tell it tonight."

At the dinner table that evening, Mommy asked little Johnny to tell his story.
Johnny started his story,
"I was at the playground and I saw Daddy's car go into the woods with Aunt Jane.
I went back to look and he was giving Aunt Jane a big kiss,
then he helped her take off her shirt.
Then Aunt Jane helped Daddy take his pants off,
then Aunt Jane and Daddy started doing the same thing that Mommy and Uncle Bill used to do when Daddy was in the Army."

Mommy fainted!

Moral of story:
Sometimes you need to listen to the whole story before you interrupt!

HYMN # 365

From a sinner......
Hymn #365

This is a hoot, but I suspect the minister didn't appreciate it.

A minister was completing a temperance sermon.
With great emphasis he said,
'If I had all the beer in the world,
I'd take it and pour it into the river.'

With even greater emphasis he said,
'And if I hadAll the wine in the world,
I'd take it and pour it into the river.'
And then finally, shaking his fist in the air, he said,
'And if I had all the whiskey in the world,
I'd take it and pour it into the river.'
Sermon complete, he sat down.

The song leader stood very cautiously and announced with a smile ,
nearly laughing,
'For our closing song,
Let us sing Hymn #365, 'Shall We Gather at the River.'

Smile, life is too short not to !!
If this brightened your day,Don't let it stop here.
Pass it on with a smile.
Keep spreading the Cheer.
See you at the river.

The MIDDLE Wife

The Middle Wife
This is hilarious!

'Middle Wife' by an Anonymous 2nd grade teacher

I've been teaching now for about fifteen years. I have two kids myself, but the best birth story I know is the one I saw in my own second grade classroom a few years back.

When I was a kid, I loved show-and-tell. So I always have a few sessions with my students.
It helps them get over shyness and usually, show-and-tell is pretty tame.
Kids bring in pet turtles, model airplanes, pictures of fish they catch, stuff like that.
And I never, ever place any boundaries or limitations on them.
If they want to lug it in to school and talk about it, they're welcome.

Well, one day this little girl, Erica, a very bright,very outgoing kid, takes her turn and waddles up to the front of the class with a pillow stuffed under her sweater.
She holds up a snapshot of an infant.
'This is Luke, my baby brother, and I'm going to tell youabout his birthday.'
'First, Mom and Dad made him as a symbol of their love, and then Dad put a seed in my Mom's stomach, and Luke grew in there.
He ate for nine months through an umbrella cord.'
She's standing there with her hands on the pillow,
and I'm trying not to laugh and wishing I had my camcorder with me.
The kids are watching her in amazement.'

Then, about two Saturdays ago, my Mom starts saying and going, 'Oh,Oh, Oh, Oh!'
Erica puts a hand behind her back and groans.
'She walked around the house for,like an hour, 'Oh, oh, oh!'
(Now this kid is doing a hysterical duck walk and groaning.)
'My Dad called the middle wife.
She delivers babies, but she doesn't have a sign on the car like the Domino's man.
They got my Mom to lie down in bed like this.'
(Then Erica lies down with her back against the wall.)
'And then,pop!

My Mom had this bag of water she kept in there in case he got thirsty, and it just blew up and spilled all over the bed, like psshhheew!'
(This kid has her legs spread with her little hands miming water flowing away.
It was too much!) 'Then the middle wife starts saying 'push, push,' and 'breathe, breathe. They started counting, but never even got past ten.
Then,all of a sudden, out comes my brother.

He was covered in yucky stuff that they all said it was from Mom's play-center, (placenta) so there must be a lot of toys inside there.'
Then Erica stood up, took a big theatrical bow and returned to her seat.
I'm sure I applauded the loudest.
Ever since then, when it's show-and-tell day,
I bring my camcorder, just in case another 'Middle Wife' comes along.

Stella

WISDOM from LKY's daughter!

Wisdom from Lee Kuan Yew's DaughterMy house is shabby, but it is comfortable.
There is no end to wanting - after the Ferrari and the Birkin bag, what next?
By Lee Wei Ling

In 2007, in an end-of-year message to the staff of the National Neuroscience Institute,
I wrote:
'Whilst boom time in the public sector is never as booming as in the private sector, let us not forget that boom time is eventually followed by slump time.
Slump time in the public sector is always less painful compared to the private sector.'
Slump time has arrived with a bang.

While I worry about the poorer Singaporeans who will be hit hard, perhaps this recession has come at an opportune time for many of us.
It will give us an incentive to reconsider our priorities in life.
Decades of the good life have made us soft.
The wealthy especially, but also the middle class in Singapore, have had it so good for so long, what they once considered luxuries, they now think of as necessities.
A mobile phone, for instance, is now a statement about who you are, not just a piece of equipment for communication.
Hence many people buy the latest model though their existing mobile phones are still in perfect working order.

A Mercedes-Benz is no longer adequate as a status symbol.
For millionaires who wish to show the world they have taste,
a Ferrari or a Porsche is deemed more appropriate.
The same attitude influences the choice of attire and accessories.
I still find it hard to believe that there are people carrying handbags that cost more than thrice the monthly income of a bus driver, and many more times that of the foreign worker labouring in the hot sun, risking his life to construct luxury condominiums he will never have a chance to live in.

The media encourages and amplifies this ostentatious consumption.
Perhaps it is good to encourage people to spend more because this will prevent the recession from getting worse.
I am not an economist, but wasn't that the root cause of the current crisis - Americans spending more than they could afford to?
I am not a particularly spiritual person.
I don't believe in the supernatural and I don't think I have a soul that will survive my death.
But as I view the crass materialism around me, I am reminded of what my mother once told me: 'Suffering and deprivation is good for the soul.'

My family is not poor, but we have been brought up to be frugal.
My parents and I live in the same house that my paternal grandparents and their children moved into after World War II in 1945.
It is a big house by today's standards, but it is simple - in fact, almost to the point of being shabby.
Those who see it for the first time are astonished that Minister Mentor Lee Kuan Yew's home is so humble. But it is a comfortable house, a home we have got used to.
Though it does look shabby compared to the new mansions on our street, we are not bothered by the comparison.

Most of the world and much of Singapore will lament the economic downturn.
We have been told to tighten our belts.
There will undoubtedly be suffering, which we must try our best to ameliorate.
But I personally think the hard times will hold a timely lesson for many Singaporeans, especially those born after 1970 who have never lived through difficult times.
No matter how poor you are in Singapore, the authorities and social groups do try to ensure you have shelter and food.
Nobody starves in Singapore.

Many of those who are currently living in mansions and enjoying a luxurious lifestyle will probably still be able to do so, even if they might have to downgrade from wines costing $20,000 a bottle to $10,000 a bottle.
They would hardly notice the difference.
Being wealthy is not a sin. It cannot be in a capitalist market economy.
Enjoying the fruits of one's own labour is one's prerogative and I have no right to chastise those who choose to live luxuriously.

But if one is blinded by materialism, there would be no end to wanting and hankering.
After the Ferrari, what next? An Aston Martin?
After the Hermes Birkin handbag, what can one upgrade to? Neither an Aston Martin nor an Hermes Birkin can make us truly happy or contented.
They are like dust, a fog obscuring the true meaning of life, and can be blown away in the twinkling of an eye.

When the end approaches and we look back on our lives, will we regret the latest mobile phone or luxury car that we did not acquire?
Or would we prefer to die at peace with ourselves, knowing that we have lived lives filled with love, friendship and goodwill, that we have helped some of our fellow voyagers along the way and that we have tried our best to leave this world a slightly better place than how we found it?

We know which is the correct choice - and it is within our power to make that choice.
In this new year, burdened as it is with the problems of the year that has just ended, let us again try to choose wisely.
To a considerable degree, our happiness is within our own control, and we should not follow the herd blindly.

The writer is director of the National Neuroscience Institute.

They Walk Among Us !

They Walk Among Us and Many Work Retail

I was at the checkout of a K-Mart. The clerk rang up £46.64 charge. I Gave her a fifty Pound Note. She gave me back £46.64. I gave the money back to her and told her that she had made a mistake in MY favor.She became indignant and informed me she was educated and knew what she wasdoing, and returned the money again. I gave her the Money back ..same scenario! I departed the store with the £46.64.
They Walk Among Us and Many Work Retail

I walked into a Starbucks with a buy-one-get-one-free coupon for a Grande Latte. I handed it to the girl and she looked over at a little chalkboard that said "buy one-get one free." "They're already buy-one-get-one-free,"she said, "so I guess they're both free". She handed me my free Lattes and Iwalked out the door.
They Walk Among Us!

One day I was walking down the beach with some Friends when one of them shouted, "Look at that dead bird!" Someone looked up at the sky and said,"Where?"
They Walk Among Us!

While looking at a house, my brother asked the real estate agent which direction was north because, he explained, he didn't want the sun waking him up every morning. She asked, "Does the sun rise in the North?" When my brother explained that the sun rises in the East, and has for sometime, she shook her head and said, "Oh I don't keep up with all that stuff."
They Walk Among Us!!

I used to work in technical support for a 24/7 call center. One day I got a call from an individual who asked what hours the call center was open. I told him, "The number you dialed is open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week." He responded, "Is that Eastern or Pacific time?"
They Walk Among Us!

My sister has a lifesaving tool in her car designed to cut through a seatbelt if she gets trapped. She keeps it in the trunk.
They Walk Among Us!

My friends and I were on a beer run and noticed that the cases were discounted 10%. Since it was a big party, we bought 2 cases. The cashier multiplied 2 times 10% and gave us a 20% discount.
They Walk Among Us!

I couldn't find my luggage at the airport baggage area, so I went to the lost luggage office and told the woman there that my bags never showed up.She smiled and told me not to worry because she was a trained professional and I was in good hands. "Now," she asked me, has your plane arrived yet?"
They Walk Among Us!

While working at a pizza parlor I observed a man ordering a small pizza to go. He appeared to be alone and the cook asked him if he would like it cut into 4 pieces or 6. He thought about it for some time before responding."Just cut it into 4 pieces; I don't think I'm hungry enough to eat 6 pieces."
Yep, They Walk Among Us!

They Walk Among Us, and they Reproduce, and Worst of all .....they Vote!

Something To Think About

Subject: Something To Ponder Over

A Violinist in the Metro
A man sat at a metro station in Washington DC and started to play theviolin; it was a cold January morning. He played six Bach pieces for about 45 minutes.

During that time, since it was rush hour, it was calculated that thousands of people went through the station, most of them on their way to work.

Three minutes went by and a middle aged man noticed there was musician playing. He slowed his pace and stopped for a few seconds and then hurried up to meet his schedule.

A minute later, the violinist received his first dollar tip: a woman threw the money in the till and without stopping continued to walk.
A few minutes later, someone leaned against the wall to listen to him,but the man looked at his watch and started to walk again. Clearly he was late for work.
The one who paid the most attention was a 3 year old boy.

His mother tagged him along, hurried but the kid stopped to look at the violinist. Finally the mother pushed hard and the child continued to walk, turning his head all the time. This action was repeated by several other children. All the parents, without exception, forced them to move on.

In the 45 minutes the musician played, only 6 people stopped and stayed for a while.

About 20 gave him money but continued to walk their normal pace. He collected $32. When he finished playing and silence took over, no one noticed it. No one applauded, nor was there any recognition.

No one knew this but the violinist was Joshua Bell, one of the best musicians in the world. ( Photo from his webpage above ).

He played one of the most intricate pieces ever written with a violin worth 3.5 million dollars.
Two days before his playing in the subway, Joshua Bell sold out at a theater in Boston and the seats average $100.

This is a real story.

Joshua Bell playing incognito in the metro station was organized by the Washington Post as part of an social experiment about perception, taste and priorities of people.

The outlines were: in a common place environment at an inappropriate hour:

Do we perceive beauty?

Do we stop to appreciate it?

Do we recognize the talent in an unexpected context?

One of the possible conclusions from this experience could be:

If we do not have a moment to stop and listen to one of the best musicians in the world playing the best music ever written, how many other things are we missing?

Compliments of the season!

Happy New Year!

Can You Guess What This Is?

CAN YOU GUESS WHAT THIS IS?

It's a hard disk in 1956...

HDD with 5 MB storage in 1956.

In September 1956 IBM launched the 305 RAMAC, the first computer with a hard disk drive (HDD).

The HDD weighed over a ton and stored 5 MB of data.

Start appreciating your 8 GB memory stick (retail today @S$29)!

This picture and story was contributed by Peter.

Thanks Peter!

Oldies Cartoons

Here are some cartoons that will help to lighten your day or chase the blues away!

What goes around comes around!

Subject: : What goes around comes around!

A very inspirational and heart-warming story...

The old man slowly looked up. This was a woman clearly accustomed to the finer things of life. Her coat was new. She looked like she had never missed a meal in her life. His first thought was that she wanted to make fun of him, like so many others had done before.

'Leave me alone,' he growled. To his amazement, the woman continued standing. She was smiling -- her even white teeth displayed in dazzling rows.

'Are you hungry?' she asked. 'No,' he answered sarcastically. 'I've just come from dining with the President. Now go away...'

The woman's smile became even broader. Suddenly the man felt a gentle hand under his arm. 'What are you doing, lady?' the man asked angrily. 'I said to leave me alone.'

Just then a policeman came up. 'Is there any problem, ma'am?' he asked. 'No problem here, officer,' the woman answered. 'I'm just trying to get this man to his feet. Will you help me?'

The officer scratched his head. 'That's old Jack. He's been a fixture around here for a couple of years. What do you want with him?'
'See that cafeteria over there?' she asked. 'I'm going to get him something to eat and get him out of the cold for awhile.'

'Are you crazy, lady?' the homeless man resisted. 'I don't want to go in there!'
Then he felt strong hands grab his other arm and lift him up.
'Let me go, officer. I didn't do anything.' '
This is a good deal for you, Jack,' the officer answered. 'Don't blow it.'
Finally, and with some difficulty, the woman and the police officer got Jack into the cafeteria and sat him at a table in a remote corner.
It was the middle of the morning, so most of the breakfast crowd had already left and the lunch bunch hadn't yet arrived.
The manager strode across the cafeteria and stood by his table.
'What's going on here, officer?' he asked. 'What is all this. Is this man in trouble?'
'This lady brought this man in here to be fed,' the policeman answered.

'Not in here!' the manager replied angrily. 'Having a person like that here is bad for business.' Old Jack smiled a toothless grin.
'See, lady. I told you so. Now if you'll let me go. I didn't want to come here in the first place.'

The woman turned to the cafeteria manager and smiled.
'Sir, are you familiar with Eddy and Associates, the banking firm down the street?'
'Of course I am,' the manager answered impatiently.
'They hold their weekly meetings in one of my banquet rooms.'

'And do you make a goodly amount of money providing food at these weekly meetings?'
'What business is that of yours?'
'I, sir, am Penelope Eddy, president and CEO of the company.'

'Oh.'

The woman smiled again. 'I thought that might make a difference.'
She glanced at the cop who was busy stifling a giggle.
'Would you like to join us in a cup of coffee and a meal, officer?'
'No thanks, ma'am,' the officer replied. 'I'm on duty.'
'Then, perhaps, a cup of coffee to go?'
'Yes, ma'am. That would be very nice.'

The cafeteria manager turned on his heel. 'I'll get your coffee for you right away, officer.'
The officer watched him walk away.

'You certainly put him in his place,' he said.
'That was not my intent. Believe it or not, I have a reason for all this.'

She sat down at the table across from her amazed dinner guest.
She stared at him intently. 'Jack, do you remember me?'
Old Jack searched her face with his old, rheumy eyes.
'I think so - I mean you do look familiar'
'I'm a little older perhaps,' she said.
'Maybe I've even filled out more than in my younger days when you worked here, and I came through that very door, cold and hungry.'

'Ma'am?' the officer said questioningly.
He couldn't believe that such a magnificently turned out woman could ever have been hungry.

'I was just out of college,' the woman began.
'I had come to the city looking for a job, but I couldn't find anything.
Finally I was down to my last few cents and had been kicked out of my apartment.
I walked the streets for days.
It was February and I was cold and nearly starving.
I saw this place and walked in on the off chance that I could get something to eat.'

Jack lit up with a smile.
'Now I remember,' he said. 'I was behind the serving counter.
You came up and asked me if you could work for something to eat.
I said that it was against company policy.'

'I know,' the woman continued.
'Then you made me the biggest roast beef sandwich that I had ever seen, gave me a cup of coffee, and told me to go over to a corner table and enjoy it.
I was afraid that you would get into trouble.

Then, when I looked over, I saw you put the price of my food in the cash register.
I knew then that everything would be all right.'

'So you started your own business?' Old Jack said.
'I got a job that very afternoon. I worked my way up.
Eventually I started my own business that, with the help of God, prospered.'

She opened her purse and pulled out a business card.
'When you are finished here, I want you to pay a visit to a Mr. Lyons.
He's the personnel director of my company.
I'll go talk to him now and I'm certain he'll find something for you to do around the office.'

She smiled.
'I think he might even find the funds to give you a little advance so that you can buy some clothes and get a place to live until you get on your feet.
If you ever need anything, my door is always open to you.'

There were tears in the old man's eyes.
'How can I ever thank you?' he said.
'Don't thank me,' the woman answered.
'To God goes the glory. Thank Jesus. He led me to you.'

Outside the cafeteria, the officer and the woman paused at the entrance before going their separate ways.
'Thank you for all your help, officer,' she said.
'On the contrary, Ms. Eddy,' he answered.
'Thank you.
I saw a miracle today, something that I will never forget. and... and thank you for the coffee.' ______________________________________

If you have missed knowing me, you have missed nothing.
If you have missed some of my emails, you might have missed a laugh.
But, if you have missed knowing my Lord and Saviour, Jesus Christ , you have missed everything in the world. May God Bless You Always.

And don't forget that when you 'cast your bread upon the waters,' you never know how it will be returned to you.
God is so big He can cover the whole world with.... His Love.

Why China is shining!

IT IS NOT A STORY BUT A TRUE INCIDENT THAT HAPPENED IN AMERICA

A Chinaman walked into a bank in New York City and asked for the loan officer.
He told the loan officer that he was going to China on business for two weeks and needed to borrow $5,000.
The bank officer told him that the bank would need some form of security for the loan, so the Chinaman handed over the keys to a new Ferrari parked on the street in front of the bank.

He produced the title and everything checked out.
The loan officer agreed to accept the car as collateral for the loan.

The bank's president and its officers all enjoyed a good laugh at the Chinaman for using a $250,000 Ferrari as collateral against a $5,000 loan.

An employee of the bank then drove the Ferrari into the bank's underground garage and parked it there.

Two weeks later, the Chinaman returned, repaid the $5,000 and the interest, which came to $15.41.
The loan officer said, "Sir, we are very happy to have had your business, and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are a little puzzled.
While you were away, we checked you out and found that you are a multi millionaire.
What puzzles us is, why would you bother to borrow $5,000?”

The Chinaman replied: "Where else in New York City can I park my car for two weeks for only $15.41 and expect it to be there when I return?”

Ah, the mind of a Chinaman ..... This is why China is shining !

Just STAY !

Just Stay !!!

A nurse took the tired, anxious serviceman to the bedside.
'Your son is here,' she said to the old man.
She had to repeat the words several times before the patient's eyes opened.
Heavily sedated because of the pain of his heart attack, he dimly saw the young Uniformed Marine standing outside the oxygen tent.

He reached out his hand.
The Marine wrapped his toughened fingers around the old man's limp ones, squeezing a message of love and encouragement.
The nurse brought a chair so that the Marine could sit beside the bed.
All through the night, the young Marine sat there in the poorly lighted ward, holding the old man's hand and offering him words of love and strength.
Occasionally, the nurse suggested that the Marine move away and rest awhile.
He refused.

Whenever the nurse came into the ward, the Marine was oblivious of her and of the night noises of the hospital - the clanking of the oxygen tank, the laughter of the night staff members exchanging greetings, the cries and moans of the other patients.

Now and then she heard him say a few gentle words.
The dying man said nothing, only held tightly to his son all through the night.
Along towards dawn, the old man died.
The Marine released the now lifeless hand he had been holding and went to tell the nurse.

While she did what she had to do, he waited.
Finally, she returned.
She started to offer words of sympathy, but the Marine interrupted her.

'Who was that man?' he asked.
The nurse was startled, 'He was your father,' she answered.
'No, he wasn't,' the Marine replied.
'I never saw him before in my life..
''Then why didn't you say something when I took you to him?'
'I knew right away there had been a mistake, but I also knew he needed his son, and his son just wasn't here.
When I realized that he was too sick to tell whether or not I was his son, knowing how much he needed me, I stayed.'

The next time someone needs you ... just be there. Stay.

WE ARE NOT HUMAN BEINGS GOING THROUGH A
TEMPORARY SPIRITUAL EXPERIENCE.
WE ARE SPIRITUAL BEINGS GOING THROUGH A TEMPORARY HUMAN EXPERIENCE.
(love this line)
HAVE A GREAT DAY AND BLESS SOMEONE ELSE IN SOME LITTLE WAY TODAY!
GOD IS SO GOOD.